Society for Sacred Sexuality – SSS Initiative to legalize sacred sex instruction

Gary Joseph · Posted: July 8, 2004

This is a discussion Forum about the Society for Sacred Sexuality's initiative to legalize sacred sex instruction by certified teachers for hire.

What's not 'legal' about teaching sacred sex?

Often nothing, as there are various ways of educating, counseling, and coaching in sacred sex (such as this website) that are perfectly legal.

But, in case you haven't noticed, it is sacred SEX, and there is such a thing as hands-on learning (literally)!

In fact, this is the traditional and most effective way to teach sacred sex because, to use an analogy, you can learn all you want about passion fruit, but until you see it, touch it, smell it, taste it, and FEEL it inside, you don't REALLY know passion fruit.

So what's the problem with learning-by-doing? Well, nothing if you're born into unlimited wealth and your only desire is to selflessly teach whoever wishes to learn, for free.

But if you're like the rest of humanity, who rely on and deserve to be paid for offering valued goods and services to society, there's a rub -- and it rubs many the wrong way:

Sex, unfortunately, has gotten a pretty bad rap over the millennia due to most people not knowing much about it (we fear what we don't know). Consequently, the idea of sexual exchange for hire leaves, shall we say, a bad taste in society's mouth. Of course, we would argue that the taste left in your mouth depends on your perception of what you put in it (i.e. sex may be filthy to you, but it's sacred to us). However, we don't make the laws.

And so the nasty 'P' word rears its ugly head (prostitution, for those who've forgotten the world's oldest profession), resulting in sacred sex educators who choose to teach this way being carted off to jail like common criminals, or at least, living under fear of such.

The only legal alternative is to diminish your effectiveness as a teacher by taking the sex out of sacred sex (like teaching someone piano without a piano), resulting in less success for clients, higher drop-out rate (meaning fewer clients & less income), all leading to less social interest in and appreciation of sacred sex.

The Society for Sacred Sexuality seeks to establish a simple point of law: that there is a distinction between common sex and sacred sex, both in method and result (the experience it leads to), and that while common sex for hire may (or may not) have negative social effects, sacred sex - whether for hire or not - brings social benefit.

Therefore, the Society for Sacred Sexuality argues that law should acknowledge this distinction and legislate sacred sex separately, according to its own merits, not those of common sex. We encourage state legislatures, mainly responsible for writing laws relating to sex work, to consider this distinction and pass more specifically targeted statutes.

(The Society for Sacred Sexuality takes no position on decriminalizing sex work in general, except we support it if it is the only means to legalize sacred sex work. We believe that given the freedom and choice, society will, in time, choose sacred sex over common sex, to beneficial effect.)

For more information, see the Interview with Gary Joseph detailing this issue for the press.

You can also track the current status of the legal action.

We invite users to discuss the issue of legal sacred sex instruction by certified teachers for hire in this Forum. Share your views and experience, and ask questions.

If you have specific ideas for establishing the legal distinction between sacred sex and conventional sex, post them in the Sister Topic in this Forum.

To pledge time, money, or resources toward this cause, use this Sister Topic.

Should sacred sex instruction by certified teachers for hire be legal? VOTE!

Don't get mad -- GET LEGAL!

Red Join the Sacred Sex Revolution Red

Educate the public, and lawmakers, about the distinction between sacred sex and common sex, and encourage laws that distinguish between them and regulate according to the merits of each.

csse · Posted: August 21, 2004

as a sexual healer and teacher i believe that the art form of touch for healing should be legalized.
yet i also have concerns about the ethics behind the work some people do.
i have had to salvage quite a few clients that has been devestated by their previous experience with a "teacher". they went looking for help and healing and received sexual advances and hand jobs in the guise of teaching.
how can we make sexual healing work look and be different than prostitution if so many practicioners are doing just that?
i believe that prostitution should be legalized as well, but i see a big difference in what i do and that form of exchange.

Gary Joseph · Posted: August 22, 2004

I agree with you 100% and it's a very important issue. I've tried to address this by putting the initiative forward as 'legalizing sacred sex instruction by certified teachers for hire'.

What that certification entails, and who administers it, etc., are details that must be worked out in conjunction with the legalization. Perhaps the accreditation board should be comprised of women, before whom applicants must demonstrate their genuine teaching & counseling capacities.

Of course no system is perfect and some will abuse it, but there are unscrupulous professionals in all fields of life, and society must deal with them through the legal system.

We have to remember the big picture. The unhealthy sexuality that pervades society (including what you've mentioned) is due to lack of knowledge & practice of sacred sex. To restrict access to sacred sex on account of our unhealthy sexual environment only perpetuates the cycle. Yes, there will be abuses at the beginning due to the ingrained ignorance, but these will diminish in time as the knowledge becomes widespread. Then all of society's sexual pathos - objectification of women, domestic violence, sexual harassment, abuse, rape, etc. - will fade with it, and it will have been worth the effort.

It's not unlike what's happening in Russia with its shift from communism to democracy and free market economics. For 70 years they built no social or economic infrastructure to support a free society. The first 20 years were difficult and many were abusing the system -- the economy was set free and a lot of criminal business activity came up. It's like sweeping dirt under the rug -- yes, there's some mess when you clean it up, but you can't keep sweeping it under. Now things are starting to smooth out and pick up in Russia.

We have to acknowledge our past unconscious sexuality, and accept & deal with the consequences so we can move past it to a more conscious one.

The best solution is probably a transitional shift, more highly regulated at first to minimize abuse, and less regulated as society matures. One possible idea - and I say this as a man who acknowledges that 99% of what you describe is perpetrated by men against women - is to begin by legalizing sacred sex instruction by female teachers.

One beautiful thing about sacred sex is that women are perfectly suited to teach & heal both men AND women through sacred sex; many women respond better to female teachers. Female teachers likely will comprise the major market for this profession anyway, which would create the side benefit that primarily men would be elevating their sexuality. Women intuitively tend toward sacred sex on their own.

I'm interested to hear what others think about this issue.

EveLynn · Posted: August 24, 2004

Post subject: Litigate or Educate - that is the question

Dear Gary,

I appreciate your intention and I too am angered at the lack of resources available to deal with "private and intimate" issues, in simpler and plainer terms sexual concerns. I have assisted countless individual and couples who have tried every known form of traditional and legal therapy and medications to resolve issues involving their sexuality. Often I am the last resort. And more often than not, the issue is resolved through my willingness to expose myself to the scrutiny of the courts. And the interesting fact is, that when I share the risk I am taking with them, they don't believe that what I do for them could possibly be against the law. So like many other things in our society, ours is a plight that very few of the masses even know about.

I understand what you mean about "sacred" sexuality â€“ because that's what I label what I do also. And I realize that it has nothing to do with religion or god - and yet it has EVERYTHING to do with the quality of our life from both a spiritual as well as a physical standpoint. Sexual energy is our life force â€“ our fountain of youth.

I could go on for hours about the amazing healings that have occurred in my healing space over the last 10 years of my practice. And other sensual healers share similar stories.

So understand that I feel your pain and your anger. However, I must disagree with your direction. And I think I can disagree with some experience and some knowledge of that which I speak. I have been a crusader rabbit for clothing optional lifestyles and beaches for over 20 years and have been involved in the political, governmental and public awareness campaigns which successfully legalized nudity on certain public lands in various parts of the US.

In gaining acceptability for anything as controversial as what we do, the key ingredient is EDUCATION. It is about public awareness first and foremost. It is removing the fear and stigma what we have placed around sex and sexuality for generations. We gain acceptability by formulating a track record â€“ a presence of proven facts that what we do is not only healthy and wonderful but truly adds healing and wholeness to those whom we tend.

In that vein, organizations such as yours and SWICA and others (my own Sacred Haven is a not-for-profit religious organization) must come together and develop a sound and practical plan to defuse the fear based repression around human sexuality.

I agree with Gayle, that your time and resources would be much better spent in a creative and positive approach to gaining acceptability rather than an adversarial one. You could win the suit and loose the war. Or even worse â€“ you could loose the suit because you are ill prepared to effect the change and suddenly we have a negative strike against us that can be cited by legal opponents for years to come. We don't want that. We want the world to know what wonderful things happen when one is totally in tune with oneâ€™s sensuality and can safely and honorably incorporate it into a holistic lifestyle of other healthy practices like breathing and eating.

There are lots of positive things happening in our favor. Through the great efforts of Dr. Joseph Kramer, founder of Body Electric in San Francisco, a Sexological Bodwork Certification course is offered through The Institute for Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality, that is accepted as a valid treatment modality by the State of California (see www.sexologicalbodywork.com ).

The Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality is an accredited private institution chartered to degree masters and doctorates/phds in various disciplines of Human Sexuality. I am currently enrolled in the doctorate program. See ( www.iashs.edu ).

In October, we are having our first East Coast Conference of Dakas and Dakinis and other Sensual Healers. The West Coast has had two. There are several Sexological organizations who are listening to what we need. Oprah has featured Tantra and Sexual Coaching workshops and therapists on her program.

Physicians, Psychologists, Ministers and other professionals are beginning to recognize the benefits of sexual healing modalities and are learning more and understanding that what those of us who have taken the time and the risk to truly educate ourselves about anatomy and sexual systems and come from an honoring space rather than an exploitive or worse yet a shame-based point of view are making a difference.

So while I understand your desire to fight for our rights, please consider that you might be cutting off your nose to spite your face. Slow down a bit and patiently build a strong foundation with those of us who are educating with facts and truths rather than litigating with indignation and ego.

I send you love and light

Gary Joseph · Posted: August 29, 2004

I appreciate these comments, and I agree with you about the need for and value of education. In fact, this has been my focus for over two decades. I've only turned to the current course of action because of limits I've seen in educating about a field as unique as ours.

My experience is that we mainly 'preach to the converted'. Most people who find this teaching do so because they are looking and already open to this kind of knowledge. There is not much interest from mainstream society. That's not because it has no value to them; it's because people are so entrenched in and habituated to certain ways of living that they don't respond to things outside their accepted paradigm.

Sometimes it takes someone to openly challenge that paradigm before they sit up and take notice. Then they finally hear what you have to say and make a conscious choice for change. In that sense, a legal challenge IS part of educating society -- it brings the issue to public attention for the conscious choice it deserves.

This has been the way with nearly all social change. The civil rights movement came to a point where the status quo had to be challenged. Yes, there was conflict as some clung to old ways, but in addressing the issue consciously, America moved forward and our nation is stronger and better off as a result.

There is nothing 'egotistical' about standing up for Truth. Ego has gotten a bad rap in new age and enlightenment circles as something always to be subjugated. Ego is only an obstacle to life when it is not aligned with natural evolution. Ego aligned with Truth is a beacon of light in the world promoting that Truth. They become part of the Cosmic Ego or Divine Will. Christ, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, the American Founding Fathers -- they all acted through ego to promote true principles. And they did so in spite of strong, even violent opposition. And in each case, Truth won out in the end.

All I'm saying here is that we shouldn't be afraid to stand for truth; whether or not now is the time to make that stand is what is open for discussion, and the purpose of this Forum. I certainly appreciate the value of education, and would like nothing more than to see society take up sacred sex as a result of the teachings that are available to it.

The question is: is society ready and willing to do it, or does it need a little push?

I invite others to share their views.

russ · Posted: April 21, 2005

Legalising and certifying sexual Healers is not going to protect the public any more than it is protected right now because the unethical and sex focused folks will STILL ply their trades and act as they are currently doing without regard for legalities and integrity.
Just as gun control legislation limits access to people who obey the law it does NOTHING to limit the criminals who ignore the law and operate by their own standards: GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.
When people who want authentic Sexual Healing and not prostitution{ again ,I have no problem with prostitutes doing what they do} they will find facilitators who actually provide Sexual Healing- the fact that this discussion is taking place signals a sea-change in awareness.
Evelynn"s emphasis on education is right on . The PUBLIC, all of the me's and you's in every place, need to know that there is a difference between Sexual Healing and prostitution even if they APPEAR TO BE THE SAME from the outside . The idea of "non sexual intimate touch" is difficult to comprehend { one student of a" Luminary Teacher" could not BEGIN to comprehend this concept in a conversation we had}

Gary Joseph · Posted: April 21, 2005

Moody · New Contributor Joined: 25 Oct 2005 Posts: 8

Hi, I am new to all of this.

I have been practicing tantric diksha meditation for most of my life and got much internal bliss out of this in a different manner, yet I got much inner bliss out of it and much love.

Coming across all the sexual healing articles on the net, I realize that we all need some sexual healing in one way or another and that includes the sexual healers too. Getting sexual healing is much harder because of the vastly inflated prices for workshops out there which is a turn off for women who have a hard time making ends meet. I often wonder, if sexual healing is only meant for those with cash flow. If the vast majority of the population remains neglected or outside of these developments we can't expect them to be open for all the changes which are going to come. After all, healing is not meant for them.

Also, some of the courses are so expensive that I would want somebody with credentials to heal me. I mean there are many good lovers out there but I really don't want to be attached to my healer. After the session is over I am on my own right? I want somebody who knows about indications, contraindications, endangerment zones, basic hugene, etc.

Many people are drawn to the sex industry because there is money to be made and they are not necessarily trained as sexual healers. They just want to pay their bills - like anybody else and if they would be independently rich they wouldn't do handjobs and rubdowns and call it healing.

I mean, how do I know somebody is a real healer? Orgasm isn't what I am after, I can get fullbody O's on my own. Also, I did some work with the Osho community and have done pelvic breathing. Really, if I am honest I wish to be seen for who I am as a person. The big O's come later because they are pressured upon us women to give and get all the time.

I mean a lovely meditation with just reiki hands on would heal me more than all the pressures about breathing and oceanic O's.

Anyway, as a consumer, I want somebody who knows what they are doing in the field, especially if I pay so much money. I don't want an escort who has not dealt with her own issues pretending to be a healer. I would be repulsed by that.

In a way, because of my own pain I don't trust people who have no credentials. Even Margo Anand has credentials.

I am an excellent LMP myself and often we are being despised for not touching the private parts of clients. All I can tell you is that the kind of work we do is equally nurturing because we actually get clients who are really sick and are in need of therapeutic healing. Not everything can be cured with an big giant O. Some clients of mine have been escorts, and pole dancers and they yearn for non invasive and non-sexual touch. Looking down on each other causes pain and not healing.

I think I am feeling unsafe to go to sexual healers who look down on my profession for not giving enough to my clients (who are also in need of sexual healing because otherwise they would respect our professional boundaries), and yet I need it. Also, I am proud to be a professional as well as a sexy women and I have clients who go to all worlds and still come to me because I am just giving a far better massage than somebody untrained... They simply love me.

Tell me is it really possible to be a sexual healer without training in this day and age with all the deseases out there? I doubt it. Maybe I am wrong.

I think sexual healer is a powerful profession and people are so vulnerable. How can one be a healer without training.

Anyway, that's where I am at. Are my worries not justified? It is not easy to trust when people don't see my but my money (as legit people wew earn far less because not many people want therapeutic work anymore, which they actually need just as much as sexual healing, in my opinion). luv

Also, I often remember that the adult industry is also in dire need of sexual healing and that includes the hard-porn industry, the traffickers and all the pimps out there. I am puzzled how so many sexual healers can work in such a climate. It seems unhealthy. Where do I start to understand there is so much to think about? Does what I say make sense at all?

Gary Joseph · Posted: October 25, 2005

These are good points. In response:

magisol · Posted: January 4, 2006

Hello Gary ! Happy New Year. I just read the interview article - you provided much needed clarity to this issue. I hope the interviewer was able to see your perspective.

I support the legalization of sacred sex teaching and instruction. If I can be of other help (such as signing a petition or otherwise), let me know.

I'll jump back into the forums over the coming months. Thanks for all your work here...things look great!

Magy

Gary Joseph · Posted: January 4, 2006

Hi Magy,

One thing everyone can do is vote in the surveys set up in this forum. They'll be a public voice for everyone's views on this issue. Here are the links:

VOTE whether sacred sex instruction by certified teachers for hire should be legal

VOTE whether the SSS should challenge laws prohibiting sacred sex instruction

Thanks for supporting this issue -- every voice counts, especially female voices: it's important for people to see that women view this as a means of empowerment, not victimization.

rahasya · Posted: February 23, 2006

Hello - A first posting by me.

These arguments are great, and the social issues around sacred sexual work apply everywhere.

I guess I'm just lucky - In South Africa, prostitution is legal, so even if Tantrikas get classified with them, it's fine.

Sympathies to the USA practicioners, and hello again, Gayle, and Gary Joseph (wherever you are, I know Gayle's Texan).

Love to all

Gary Joseph · Posted: February 23, 2006

Maybe we should all move to S. Africa !!!

Johannesburg & Cape Town just got added to the list of potential sites for the future Shrine to Sacred Sexuality.

I invite you to share some insights as to the social impact of those laws in SA. I know that in Nevada, the only US state with legal prostitution, the industry is very regulated to control STD's & public visibility. In SA, is it the same, or more self-regulated? If the latter, do sex workers take responsibility for this, or is it lacking? Also, what is the public opinion of these laws?

I know sacred sex instruction is clearly distinct from common prostitution, but I also know that in places like Nevada, even prostitution hasn't proven to be the major social problem many claim it to be. Countries that successfully allow legal sex work in society can set a positive precedent for others.

rahasya · Posted: February 23, 2006

It's being worked on. One day, we'll maybe get you all here! The best way to do it here is the way the politicians do it. Summers in Cape Town, Winters in Johannesburg. You'll need 2 shrines.

There doesn't seem to be much about regulation, and it will anyway be applied South African style, which means it wouldn't be a problem anyway.

There's a couple of fellows been teaching openly, one for many years. No harassment, no trouble.

On paper, this place has the sweetest constitution on the planet as far as I know. http://www.polity.org.za/html/govdocs/constitution/saconst.html?rebookmark=1

- people here in the main tend to be v conservative, though there is late night soft porn on one tv channel (I'm trying to get some tantra or something sex-positive in there...) and there's a large "seeker" population.

Gary Joseph · Posted: February 24, 2006

Is there any STD or other negative social impact?

rahasya · Posted: February 24, 2006

The STD (especially HIV) in South Africa is a big issue, mainly because of huge pharm. Corps spending on "awareness". We are so aware, such money being spent, and endless ad campaigns telling us how the latest antiretrovirals don't kill patients as quickly as the ones we were all told to take last year...

There is a huge STD problem. Not in Tantra circles, but in much of the population. This is because of a terrible perversity - "dry sex" for which some studies indicate an over 90% prevalence.

It seems to be an aspirational thing. Buying into the hairless, bloodless, airbrushed and unnaturally perfumed woman that's been sold worldwide by hollywood et al. Obviously such a woman is "pure" and doesn't leak fluids! There's also a suspicion (probably because of all the "sex is the source of disease" propaganda) that the woman's juices are a source of illness. Women do terrible things to themselves to make sure they are nice and dry for their lover, the lovers have been circumcised, so they have little sensitivity. There isn't any way one could arrange better STD transmission.

I proposed a new definition for rape on a local newsgroup - entry without sufficient natural lubrication - didn't go down too well.

Condoms are all very well - but locally, it's almost impossible to get UNlubricated ones. SK21 lubricant (silicone like Q20, tool-in-a-can) has been shown to cause lesions. Now, that's serious for STD transmission risk.

The general population, however, is not the same as the "aware seeker" population which does much better.

We haven't seen a hint of an std around this tantra school in the couple of years we've been going. I could theorise as to why, but then I'll be in more trouble than Duesberg!

Gary Joseph · Posted: February 25, 2006

Board Moderator · Posted: March 1, 2006

[ MODERATOR'S NOTE: The following message is part of a post by rahasya in the Sacred Sex Society Forum; it has been copied here for relevance to legalizing sacred sex instruction. The entire original post can be viewed here. ]

Yellow

Rahasya said:

If a legal challenge is on account of us feeling threatened, wanting the culture to be "fair" with us, wanting things to be more convenient - if it's out of any flavour of fear, then I find it deplorable if "sacred sex work" is legalised, and "non-spiritual" forms of sex work aren't.

I'm happy to take advantage of sex work (our new politically correct term which replaces "prostitute") freedom, and though what I do isn't, as you rightly say elsewhere on your site, the same. Just, to the culture, it is the same, in exact definition (coitus happens, or it doesn't).

Personally, I'd prefer you to be trying to legalise ALL sex work, sacred or otherwise, because it's from the "mud" of real base, root chakra sexuality that the "lotus" of the higher forms grows. Sex, at any level, however it looks, is the seed, and is sacred.

I applaud your efforts to make the various distinctions of sexual work clear, it may well support the current thaw in cultural attitudes. Also the awareness that's sure to be provoked in seekers visiting here - that's beyond conventional ideas of value.

Gary Joseph · Posted: March 1, 2006

Moody · New Contributor Joined: 25 Oct 2005 Posts: 8

One thing is for sure, as a massage therapist, and I am a good one, I come across sexual arousal at tiems. I love my clients and I got great reviews on the net. My work is archetypical and the flow integrated. I am well loved. I studied some sky dancing tantra, gestalt, a lot of somatic work, reich, stupid rebirthing techniques in the tub, and other emotional clearing work in the past. I also know somehow I would do a good job as a sexual healer. I surely have experimented with my own orgasmic responses and got full body orgasms (although I have to say again that in my case that there is a huge difference in the form of bliss which I experience between FBO and in very deep tantric sadhana).

Now, I am licensed. Having access to the general population has been good for me financial and itâ€™s a low stress way to make a living for me. I certainly have clients who think of me as a healer, even though I am reluctant to portrait myself that way. I also faced clients who wanted a â€œhappy ending.â€ I did not want to be impolite but that route is not easy to take, knowing that these clients are not really coming for healing but for bragging at escort-review boards about who does what out there and â€œdestroying professional livesâ€ as a result. There are certainly other ethical issues. I just donâ€™t want to give power away to people who can destroy my life and what I love doing. For me to pretend to start sexual healing on a client would eventually lead to the loss of my partner, whom I love, and I would loose my license (some states are all too eager to get you) and as a result would have to do sex work because thatâ€™s easiest but not a healthy way to enterer sex work and sexual healing work at all, I believe. Now, even though I figure that every client is send to me by Purusha (divine consciousness), I would have a hard time doing sexual healing and advancing full body orgasm to every single person who comes into the door. I know I could work with some when agreed upon in advance. There needs to be a vibe as well. I certainly canâ€™t understand how this sexual healing can be done in one hour as I have read on escort review boards by these little tantrics. Anyway, I believe I could do sexual healing with some people but not with everybody. I know how breath, movement, sound, and chakra ideation moves the orgasmic response around the body (at least in me and my partner). Wouldnâ€™t it be nice to teach this sort of healing should be learned to every teenager right from the start? Everybody should have that kind of coaching so it will safe us all a lot of issues.

I noticed that a lot of sexual healers, the ones I meet, and I met quiet few from the Osho community and other places, donâ€™t think itâ€™s important to do tantric sadhana and often think tantric sadhana is something outdated. What made me feel reluctant to trust these healers IS because I do tantric sadhana and itâ€™s hard to even remotely even imagine do be a tantric person without doing tantric inner spiritual lessons on a daily basis. One can be a powerful lover and connect to the universes, and even stay aroused all day long, and be thrilled about the unity of life but tantric sadhana is something so refined and subtle, itâ€™s hard to believe that this to me most important part itâ€™s not integrated in the neo-tantric community. Tantic sadhana leads to tremendous amounts of bliss and ultimately spiritual liberation. Maybe some people find that part less inspiringâ€¦ I like the idea of liberationâ€¦ at any moment

For me, I know I have to integrate some other aspects but itâ€™s so hard for me to surrender to somebody who does not do tanric sadhana. I just canâ€™t get over this feeling of net feeling understood. One thing I know for sure, I never met a man who truly could do meditation even with me together in a united fashion. I know the techniques and dicussed the neo-tantric ones. I have other techniques in mind as well. I wished to create the subtle currents of bliss within but meditators are either closed off to this or the neo tanric practitioners are to hang up on the multi-orgasmic-response of the full-body-orgasm. It would have been nice to find a shiva who understands the world of tantric sadhana as deeply as the connection of the neo-tantric full body multy orgasmic response with the feeling of merging. There is still something subtler within us which could be explored and merged with. I will maybe never find the particular combination of merging which I know I have the potential for, and I tend not to look for it much either. I certainly donâ€™t want to pay for it at this point, because bliss and spirituality as powerful lessons was always for â€œfreeâ€ for me (from the source in India I learned from â€“ I however, donated to the poor in return). It seems that my little desire to meditate with a tantric Shiva deeply may remain unfulfilled. My own partner canâ€™t even do it. He thinks I am superficial and should consider myself lucky that I even get that much bliss in meditation. Why should I have such a desire to start off with? I just canâ€™t imagine after all the lessons I got in tantra in India for free that I now have to pay a sexual healer so much money, and still that person usually does not know how to meditate and do basic dhyan, for instance. Still, I am sure I can always learn something but I tend to look up to people when they are most honest regardless of they meditate or not. I have no judgments but when it comes to the core of my inner being there need to be teachers who understand that part. Anyway, when the time is ready all things falls into place.

I wonder of course, is there something wrong with me wanting to deeply meditate with the wonderful energy of a Shiva who also can go deeply within without using others? Why do sexual tantric healers lack in this arena so much? I know I can flow easily of I learn to trust.

Anyway, if somebody is some sort of a spiritual guide, one needs to be an example. Itâ€™s hard for me to accept spiritual teachers who donâ€™t do some sort of spiritual daily practice at all, call them god, goddess, priest, priestess, they are just as beautiful and divine as anybody else, and at that point we all can call all people priest and priestesses, what would be the difference anyway? The good part is they make people happy. I do that too in my simple massages. I have seen pretty happy people, sometimes crying with tears of happiness and love in my practice. I did not even do sex with them??? Go figure!

I just hope that all this sexual healing will not become another capitalistic enterprise without regards for the sincere spiritualist. I like to see a society evolve in which all people are considered priest and priestesses, god, goddess. Sexual healing could be taught in school.

Much is expected of these new healers and spiritualists. I hope they can live up to their lofty ideals, when it comes to the healing aspect.

Ah, I have another questionâ€¦ Is it OK for the sexual healers to have sex with married people who have given each other an oath to help each other physically, mentally, and spiritually? I personally feel uneasy with that thought. Maybe its here where â€œprostitutionâ€ (I donâ€™t like that work when it comes to sexual healing at all), and the â€˜family systemâ€ clashed in the past and still does. Healing canâ€™t really happen under such dysfunctions, which are brushed under the rug. So, should we do away with the family structure all together so we have a more authentic and true society? There are just so many issues to address here. How would one deal with healing a married man? Is his spiritual seeking and uplifting what matters the most in this case and his wife matters not? Maybe he does not even know what he wants. Under which circumstance, is sexual healing pono when married? Maybe some walks in life maybe done in the shadow in tantra, breaking rules is part of tantra but can be pretty self-serving as well. Simple logic! I just have not resolved this issue, so forgive me for asking uncomfortable questions.

I love it here and I will peek in moreâ€¦ thanks for doing this forum. It helps a lot of people. luv