Society for Sacred Sexuality

Gary Joseph · Posted: July 10, 2004

This interview answers basic questions regarding the Society's advocacy for laws allowing sacred sex instruction by certified teachers for hire.

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Note: this advocacy pertains only to paid sacred sex instruction involving direct sexual exchange. Such practice is illegal under current prostitution and/or other sex laws in most jurisdictions.

Other teaching methods, such as non-sexual person-to-person instruction, counseling, workshops, books, online learning, etc., are 100% legal. If you are reporting on this subject, it is important to note this distinction.

Update [10/26/2011]: This interview, originally posted in 2004, has been updated to reflect changes in our position on this matter (see Current status of the legal action for revision history). The updates pertain only to our efforts to reform the law; we stand behind our original arguments supporting the need for reform.

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Q: What is sacred sex?

From a legal perspective, sacred sex is distinct from conventional sex in two ways:

1) Method: sacred sex uses simple muscle, massage, breath, and other actions to evoke a unique sexual experience.

2) Experience: in contrast to the typical sexual response of quick orgasmic rush followed by decline, sacred sex brings about an integrated and gradual sexual build-up that remains at or near orgasmic peak for sustained periods. This experience has numerous positive benefits for practitioners.

The legal dispute in question is not regarding sacred sex practice, which is legal between consenting adults like other sex practices. Rather, the dispute is over one specific way in which sacred sex is taught.

Q: How is it taught?

Sacred sex may be taught in many ways: through counseling, coaching, workshops, books, video, online learning, etc. -- the same way other subjects are taught. These methods are 100% legal. However, sacred sex is traditionally and most effectively taught by a trained teacher sharing the experience with a student in direct sexual exchange.

Q: What is the legal issue?

In this traditional learning method, if the teacher is compensated for his or her services, it is illegal under prostitution and/or other sex laws in most states.

Q: What is your position?

Our stand is that sacred sex is distinct from conventional sex both in method and result as stated above, and therefore should be legislated distinctly.

Prostitution laws aim to prevent the negative personal and social effects of sexual exchange for money. Sacred sex instruction however - with or without financial compensation - brings both personal and social benefit. Therefore, there is no legal justification for prohibiting it.

Sacred sex cultivates much more than physical gratification; it builds an entirely new biochemistry that uplifts the psychology and emotions, revitalizes and rejuvenates the body, and instills a sense of wholeness in the individual -- all on a long-term basis, as opposed to the short-term rush from conventional sex, typically followed by fatigue and decline. The long-term effects of sacred sex positively impact many areas of personal and social life. Our stand is that sacred sex instruction, being a beneficial exchange to all parties, should be legal.

An analogy would be if lawmakers, acting on studies showing that fast-food and over-eating pose health risks, enacted legislation banning all exchange of food for money. Wholesome food, eaten in moderation, is beneficial to life. We shouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

The only reason sacred sex instruction is illegal under current law is that legislators and society until now have been unaware of sacred sex, and its distinction from common sex. They therefore never legislated for it. This is understandable, but we aim to establish this legal distinction now, so lawmakers can enact appropriate and responsible laws.

Q: What type of action do you plan?

A: Upon consulting with legal advisors on this issue, we accept that states are typically within their constitutional rights to enact such laws, so we do not seek to challenge them in court.

Instead, we seek to educate the public, and lawmakers, as to the distinction between sacred sex and common sex, and encourage legislators to reform the law.

Q: What is the main focus of your efforts now?

A: Currently, we are focusing on general education as offered through our website. In addition, we regularly look for opportunities, such as prominent court cases, to inform the media as to this legal distinction. In this way, we hope to create a favorable environment for reform.

Q: Has this always been your stand?

We have always, first and foremost, been an educational organization, and the vast majority of our efforts have always been in this vein. However, our position on the issue of legal sacred sex instruction has evolved over the years as our understanding of the law has grown. Consequently, our efforts at legal reform have evolved too.

In 2004, when we first took up this effort, we held that current sex laws were unconstitutional, based on a general understanding of that document. We therefore sought to challenge the law proactively by filing suit, and wrote the ACLU for assistance (that letter is posted here). We were advised that such proactive methods are difficult, and instead looked for arrest cases that afforded opportunities for a legal challenge. In September 2011, a prominent case involving many defendants at the Phoenix Goddess Temple came to our attention, and we renewed our focus on this issue. Upon consulting a legal advisor, we first refined our challenge, focusing on the constitutional right to contract (financial agreement teacher and client serves as a verbal contract). We initially planned to go forward with our challenge on this defense (combined with the evidence above, distinguishing sacred sex from common sex and affirming the positive life impact of sacred sex, which removes government's 'compelling interest' to deny the right to contract). After further consultation however, we were advised that the right to contract is not as clearly established as we believed, and that states are typically within their constitutional rights to legislate this act. Therefore, as of October 26, 2011, we abandoned our challenge and now focus solely on public education and advocacy.

Q: You say that sacred sex is distinct from common sex in method and result. Can you elaborate?

It is well known among researchers that sex produces many endorphins and other biochemicals that are positive and healthy for the body. Unfortunately, in conventional sex this biochemistry and the satisfaction it brings are short-lived. They may last anywhere from a few minutes to an hour -- typically toward the former for men, latter for women. Worse yet, the orgasmic 'high' is generally followed by a below baseline experience. Women often feel moody or abandoned; men withdrawn and fatigued. It's like a sugar high, followed by a crashing low.

Sacred sex is more integrated. Simple breath and muscle techniques circulate the sex energy and endorphins throughout the body. This results in a deeper, more satisfying and long-lasting experience -- what sacred sex calls 'full-body orgasm'. It is typically also more gradual, like simmering water to a boil rather than scorching it. You reach the same sexual temperature, but the endorphins circulate the body much longer.

All this creates a distinct physiology from conventional sex. It will be for researchers to pinpoint exactly what it is -- whether endorphins created this way are longer-lived, a saturation point is reached, or entirely new endorphins are made -- but it brings about what is essentially a sustained orgasmic experience.

To use our water analogy again, common sex, at the point of orgasm, 'blows the lid off the pot'. The water sprays out and the experience ends. In sacred sex the water keeps boiling with the lid on -- you can extend the experience virtually as long as you wish.

It is this phenomenon that makes sex 'sacred'. When you sustain an orgasmic peak beyond several minutes, you slip into what people variously call a trance-like or meditative state, or sexual ecstasy, rapture, or awakening. This is akin to the 'zone' that long-distance runners slip into after a period of time, only more profound and intense because it is sexually charged. The mind and body, rather than fatiguing in time, are more energized and alert. It is a state of heightened sexual awareness.

This awakening experience is the catalyst for the personal transformation sacred sex brings about, and its positive impact on life.

Some people say we are never closer to God than at the moment of orgasm, because the mind is suspended and we are in a state of bliss. Well, if you extend that experience for 30 minutes to an hour or more, you can see why many call it sacred -- the seed of spiritual awakening.

Better still, this awakening lingers long after sacred sex is over. Researchers may find that the endorphins in the body feed off each other and heighten enjoyment of everyday life. Normal daily routine is flame enough to keep the water simmering. This self-perpetuating cycle continues long after sacred sex is over. Ultimately, the biochemistry of sacred sex becomes a permanent feature of the physiology.

At the risk of getting abstract, you feel a deep inner bliss and peace -- a permanent universal love in the heart that practitioners call 'Sacred Union'. To many, this is a true spiritual awakening, and why they appreciate sacred sex as a spiritual path. You can see why this rightly is legal. To lump it in with prostitution is a crime against life.

Q: It sounds hard to learn.

Now you see why we want to legalize personal instruction, because it SOUNDS like a lot when you hear it and try to learn through words, but doing it is easy. In fact, nothing could be simpler -- it's the body's natural way of having sex.

Sacred sex is more unlearning than learning. As a society we've become so caught up in instant gratification that we project it into our sex lives. We race after a peak instant, all the while not realizing we can have that peak always. Once you experience sacred sex and see how much better it is, then that's the only kind of sex you want, and it becomes a natural way of life.

Then you project that mind-set into the rest of your life. You start enjoying the moment rather than always chasing after, and never being satisfied with, elusive goals. Your whole life blossoms. Millions of people enjoying this will literally transform society. That's what the Society for Sacred Sexuality is about, and why we want to see this legal.

Q: Do people have time for this?

There's no time commitment needed. Even a sacred sex 'quickie' is better than conventional sex. People put time into things according to the pleasure they bring. You try sacred sex, and if you like it and want more, you make time for it -- just like anything else.

My experience is: you'll want more !!!

Q: You said before that sacred sex has personal and social benefit, and contrasted it with the negative effects of prostitution. Can you name some specific benefits?

First I would point out that the personal experience described above is itself a profound benefit. A person's inner contentment and general well-being enrich all areas of life. Such people bring positivity to their daily interactions and relationships, thus serving society.

Beyond that, specific sexually-related personal and social benefits include:

~ elevated self-esteem and body-image;

~ improved gender & marital relations, and attitudes toward the opposite sex;

~ reduced domestic violence and abuse;

~ reduced tendency toward sexual harassment and violence, including assault/rape;

~ healing of sexual abuse;

~ treatment of sexual dysfunction; and

~ reduced sexual addiction, interest in pornography, and other deviance.
Q: What do you see as the end effect of this on society?

Sacred sex will completely transform human sexuality, as well as all areas of personal and social life directly and indirectly impacted by it. And because sexuality is such a universally powerful force in life, that impact will be wide-spread and permanent. In short, I see nothing less than a new human awakening.

Societal effects of sacred sex are sweeping even on a mundane level. It fosters open and honest sexual attitudes, free from guilt, shame, and self-denial. It promotes positive gender perceptions and relations, marked by mutual appreciation and respect. It supports marital and family relationships, encouraging authentic communication and sharing. And it fills the void that drives much of today's anti-social and sexually deviant behavior.

Q: Are there any negative effects?

Not unless you consider losing all the above problems a negative effect.

Q: What kind of message do you think legalizing sex for hire sends to society, especially to children?

Legalizing sacred sex sends the message that this powerful desire is a way to bring positive healthy experience to life, and that it is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. It also sends the message that not all sex is the same, and that responsible choices can be made.

As it stands now, the choice is self-denial vs. physical gratification. This is hardly a positive message to send society. Moreover, the poor choices lead fewer people to opt for what moralists see as the right one. All this leads to a very distorted, conflicting, and repressed societal image of sexuality.

Sacred sex sends the message that sexuality is a positive tool for growth. It eliminates the need for self-denial, and satisfies physical desire while offering much more. It provides common ground for desires of pleasure and good, eliminating the conflict of choosing between them. This is a far healthier and more mature message to send to society.

For children, this message simply reinforces the innocent attitude toward sex they would grow into without socially-projected distortions. It teaches that sex is a natural part of life like any other, encourages open learning and mature choices regarding sexuality, and frees children of all the hang-ups and insecurities that accompany growing up with sexual repression.

Q: What is your position on sex laws as they pertain to common prostitution?

We have no stand on this issue; it is outside our field of interest and we have neither the experience nor expertise to assess the social impact of common prostitution. We seek only to distinguish sacred sex from common sex, and advocate reform for those laws pertaining to sacred sex. We leave the issue of decriminalizing conventional sex work to those advocates, however we do recognize that there are positive sex workers benefiting individuals and society using methods other than those listed here defining 'sacred sex', and urge lawmakers to consider those distinctions as well.

To re-state our position in short: We seek a legal distinction between sacred sex instruction by certified teachers for hire and common prostitution. The grounds are that sacred sex and common sex are two distinct acts, yielding distinct results. Since sacred sex has only positive social impact, it should be afforded a legal place in the market like any other positive service.

Regardless of whether sex laws pertaining to common prostitution change or remain as they are, we believe that it will lose its appeal as more people learn sacred sex and experience its more positive effects. Conventional sex workers themselves will find sacred sex instruction a much more rewarding, uplifting, and lucrative - not to mention legal - career. Sacred sex will simply replace it.

Q: What is your response to those who say this is just a way to legalize prostitution?

I would say they should try sacred sex, and see that it's different from common sex, and that it positively impacts their lives. Then they will see the value of spreading it in society and they will support it.

Q: If a married man wants to learn sacred sex, do you advocate him seeing a female teacher behind his wife's back?

I don't advocate either spouse doing ANYTHING behind the other's back. I advocate open and honest communication in any love relationship. The husband & wife can learn sacred sex together from a teacher so that the man can get the sexual fulfillment he desires from his wife. Another common way is for the woman to learn from a female teacher, then share what she has learned with her male partner.

Q: Don't you think a lot of women and their clients will use the law to get away with prostitution?

That's why we're seeking this distinction for certified sacred sex teachers only. Teacher certification, combined with accreditation requirements for teacher training centers, will ensure professional standards in the field, and discourage those seeking to skirt the law. This will also give law enforcement the information it needs to carry out its duties. In addition, it will give clients what they need to make informed choices. The system will work like other professionally licensed services, where it is legal to practice with one, illegal without.

Q: Who will certify the teachers?

The Society for Sacred Sexuality can assist with this; there are also other qualified groups and teachers, some already with certification programs in place. These details can be worked out by leaders in the field and applied to the legislation.

Teacher training programs can be overseen by a national accreditation board, like certification programs in other fields.

Q: What is the Society for Sacred Sexuality?

The Society for Sacred Sexuality was founded on July 4, 2004 to educate the public about sacred sex, promote sacred sex activities and projects, and bring about reform in laws unjustly applied to sacred sex. We launched our website, www.sss-now.org, as an educational forum, information & advocacy resource, and project center.

The Society for Sacred Sexuality does not condone, promote, or engage in illegal activity; therefore until legal status for certified sacred sex teachers is established, we do not participate in that practice.

The Society was founded by myself, Gary Joseph. I warmly invite the press and public to learn about sacred sex, and to practice and promote it according to their desire.

Q: What is your background?

I have been involved with spiritual practices for over 30 years, including 15 years with sacred sex. I have written about and taught sacred sex in different ways, including counseling and workshops.

While I have learned from others, my teaching is drawn mainly from personal experience.

Q: What qualifies you to teach?

I believe my best qualification is the transformation I have seen in my own life from sacred sex. The experiences I've described here are first-hand accounts. Too often today people rely on books and theories for qualification. While these may be helpful, they do not replace real life experience. My experience is not just practicing sacred sex, it is a personal transformation I have witnessed as a result.

This experience allows me to evaluate different sacred sex teachings and distinguish between what is useful and not useful, and essential or extra. It also helps me keep sacred sex simple, natural, effective, and fun, without adding needless effort that bogs people down and turns them off. I encourage the joy of sex, while adding a few simple things to transform it into something sacred.

I've also seen in my own life that this experience coexists with things we typically judge as not 'sacred'. People, in their struggle to find God, have translated their struggle into good vs. evil. Consequently, they have become very judgmental about life, to the point of driving away the very followers they seek to lead. Ironically, what we abandon in true spiritual awakening is not 'evil'; it is our judging of God's creation, which He has pronounced 'all good', to be something other.

My experience gives me a judgment-free perspective on sacred sex. I don't moralize about people's desires, or preach right & wrong. I see value in everything in creation, and potential as a tool for growth. When people come to me with a situation or desire, I don't judge them; instead I accept them as they are and show them how to use it to their advantage to get the experience they want.

On a grander scale, my own transformation inspires me to envision what sacred sex can do for others, and for society as a whole. I see a transformed humanity based on true spiritual experience, not faith or some dream or ideology. It is a vision I invite everyone to share in their own lives. Together we can transform ourselves and our world.