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| Honoring the Body Posted: October 1, 2004 |
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Sacred sex honors the body because it is sacred by nature.
It is not that we make the body sacred by honoring it, or otherwise inflate the body's status by some misplaced 'worship'. The human body is sacred by its own nature, regardless of whether we honor it as such or not. This is fully explained in the Sacred Body Forum.
Honoring the body is therefore perfectly natural and expresses the truth of who we are as human beings.
As such, the ways of honoring the body are as natural as the reverence shown to anything else in creation. They may be formal traditions practiced throughout society, or informal spontaneous acts -- as varied and unique to each individual as life itself.
Honoring the body is natural whether you are religious or not. Even in secular humanist terms, the human body is a marvel of creation, the pinnacle of natural evolution. If anything in creation is worthy of honor, it is the human body and its life processes.
For the religious-minded, the creation of mankind in human form is God's crowning act. It is through that form that God conceived of a being capable of serving and dignifying creation, and reflecting His Will. Indeed, God created man in His own Image as a divine reflection on earth. Nothing can be more worthy of honor than that.
Unfortunately, despite the theological grounds for honoring the body, Western religion typically has a less than honorable attitude toward it. That view ranges from weak and unclean to shameful and dirty, to outright evil and sinful.
But this view fails to recognize that spirituality is wholeness. Religious life means living spirit IN the body. To deny or demonize the home for spirit not only makes no sense, but also inhibits our capacity to live that wholeness. For how can body house and radiate spirit when we view it as sinful?
However, the main question religious condemnation of the body raises is this: if man is made in the image of God, how can the human form be sinful?
Some religionists try to sidestep this dilemma by asserting that the human form is not sinful per se, but only so by how we use it. According to them, among the sinful uses of the body is deriving sexual pleasure from it.
In that case, they must answer to this: why does the female form (also created by God) include a clitoris, the only organ known to science whose sole function is to bring sexual pleasure? For that matter, why does the male organ include nerve endings designed to bring pleasure?
Some shuffle further, arguing that this is only to promote procreation. If so, then why does religion sometimes even condemn pleasure derived from that? If God has made sex pleasureful to encourage it, why does religion exhort us to deny that pleasure and regard the source of it - the human body - as sin?
These religious perversions make no sense unless we assume a sadistic God who creates beings designed for pleasure only to test their will to deny that pleasure.
While sacred sex honors our divine form by calling it a 'bodytemple', Western religion instead condemns its veneration as blasphemy. But which is blasphemy -- honoring the crowning work of God's creation or disparaging it?
SEX AS WORSHIP Sacred sex not only satisfies the natural religious ideal of a sacred home for the soul, but also it leads to direct experience of that, beyond ideology. Sacred sex leads to Sacred Union, in which you experientially awaken to your inner divinity and recognize your body as a home, or spiritual vessel, for that. Learn all about this in the Sacred Union Forum.
By awakening you to its natural sanctity, sacred sex itself honors your body, without need for any special reverential act. Nothing need even be said. You honor your body simply by using it for the purpose it was created -- as a vessel for Sacred Union.
Sex symbolizes a merging of the male & female essence of creation. It represents wholeness and union. Through sex, we symbolically complete ourselves as human beings. Sacred sex makes this symbolic union real by inducing the genuine experience of Sacred Union. Thus it is a true sacrament and act of worship.
Sacred sex texts hint at this state by describing their own methods to it:
| Quote: |
| "Abandon all conceptual thought and unite with my reclining form" -- Chandamaharosana Tantra "When in such embrace
that your senses are shaken as leaves,
enter this shaking."-- Vigyan Bhairav Tantra |
These quotes and the lesson on Sacred Union make it clear that sacred sex evokes spiritual experiences that affirm its sanctity. Sacred sex does not simply label common sex 'sacred'. While every bodily act may be sacred in the highest sense of the word (see Myth of Evil), specific practices and results distinguish sacred sex as a special act of worship in your bodytemple. Sacred sex not only leads to Sacred Union, but also Sexual Enlightenment. The Lesson Forum gives simple methods for practice.
Sacred sex commonly uses the term 'worship' to describe its honoring of sex and the body. However, other terms fit just as well and may appeal to you more. Many of these are the same as those used by religion: communion, baptism, rebirth, rapture, sacred marriage, sacrifice, and surrender. Here, a sacred sex text speaks also of offering:
| Quote: |
| By joining the diamond scepter [male organ, lingam] and lotus [female organ, yoni], they offer themselves to each other. There is no other worship than this. -- Chandamaharosana Tantra |
It is easy to see the value sacred sex worship brings to your spiritual life. It fills you with passion and enthusiasm that ensures your continued and whole-hearted practice.
Spiritual and religious leaders commonly exhort their followers to worship with fervor and zeal. We are to wholly give ourselves over to God. Yet how many can say that they truly feel passion for common worship?
In contrast, we yearn for sacred sex worship in our own bodytemples, joyfully and ecstatically. We readily surrender ourselves to that all-consuming communion. That is the true spirit of worship. That is how sacred sex honors the body and its creative spirit.
MORE WAYS TO WORSHIP Beyond sacred sex itself, honoring the body in special ways simply celebrates its natural sacred status. If you want to add this to your sacred sex practice, there are many ways to do so.
By far the simplest, most common and natural, and most fun way is to simply appreciate each other's sacred human form in all its naked glory. You'll also find it stimulating and arousing. We're often in such a hurry to get on with sex that we forget one of its most simple pleasures -- the perfect beauty of our human form.
The following poem, from the Greek Anthology, a collection of classical poems, eloquently describes how the simple act of appreciating your lover's nude body inspires and renews your love relationship:
| Quote: |
A God and a Goddess Tonight we shall discover each other anew, dear wife.
Let us stand before each other in silence.
Let each in turn take off a garment,
And as each garment falls silently to the ground
Let us pause and [gaze] at each other,
Enjoying the part of the body newly revealed.
When we are both naked we shall stand still;
Motionless, we shall fill our eyes with each other.
In my eyes you shall be a goddess:
What others may regard as imperfections
Will to me be signs of your divinity.
And in your eyes make me a god:
Let my flabbiness become firm,
And my weakness become strength.
Once we have made each other divine
Let us lie down face to face.
Clasping one another firmly and intertwining our legs
We shall kiss each other deeply.
The nipples of our breasts will be pressed together,
And in body and soul we shall be as one.
You a goddess and I a god shall be united,
And the sky itself will tremble with joy.-- from Sacred Sex, collected erotic writings from world cultures,
compiled by Robert Bates (see endnotes for pub. info) |
You can also gaze upon your lover's face and/or nude body while practicing sacred sexercise as taught in Lesson 4. Be aware of thoughts, feelings, and sensations that come up, and either give thanks for them, offer them to your chosen spiritual ideal, honor them as sacred, or simply appreciate them. You can do this while joined in sexual union too.
Some other ways to worship:- Recount the qualities you love most about your partner, acknowledging their source in God/dess (e.g. "I love your divine compassion/beauty/strength/sexuality" etc.). You can do this while gazing at or in union with your lover.
- While making love to your partner, see yourself as uniting with God/dess. See your desire to join with your lover as your yearning for Spiritual Union. While joined with your lover, know that you embody the Spiritual Union of God & Goddess.
- Create a lovemaking ritual that reflects your spiritual ideals and/or the spiritual nature of your particular love relationship. See the Sacred Sex Ritual Forum for other ideas.
- See Sacred Sex Worship for Her for specific ways to honor your goddess.
- See Sacred Sex Worship for Him for specific ways to honor your god.
- Honor or worship your chosen spiritual ideal, or your lover as an embodiment of that, any way you wish. The form of worship is not important; what matters is your intent. The more personal your worship is to you, the more power it has to evoke a spiritual awakening.
In sacred sex, you don't worship the body or sex for their own sake. You worship to commune with your spiritual ideal. Worship is a way to spiritual communion.
This is why your method of worship is not so important. Communion with Inner Spirit is what matters. Whatever method best helps you achieve Sacred Union, that is your ideal worship.
AIM & SECRET
OF SACRED SEX WORSHIP The aim of sacred sex worship - or any worship for that matter - is a state of ecstatic Spiritual Union. Religious saints and spiritual mystics throughout the ages have described such inner communion. They use words like 'rapture' and 'ecstasy' to express the state.
The Christian St. Teresa of Avila is one of the best examples of this in the West. In her diary, she describes her experience this way:
| Quote: |
| "I began to experience true ecstasy, which I believe to be the highest form of prayer...." |
This ecstasy is a spiritual orgasm; it is the ecstasy of Sacred Union.
The focus on this communion, not the veneration itself, leads to a most remarkable feature of sacred sex worship: the secret lies in letting go.
Like sexual orgasm, spiritual orgasm is a letting go. This is easy to understand when we consider what Spirit is. Every spiritual ideal - whether God, Goddess, or simply ideal humanism - is universal. It transcends individuality. That's easy enough to see for God & Goddess, but it's true even for human ideals. If we honor human values like love, virtue, strength, beauty, sensuality, etc., and wish to bring them more into our lives, we do so by imbibing their universal essence. We tap into pure strength or love. By that, we become more loving, strong, or beautiful, etc.
This merging into universality - whether a Deity or a human ideal - is the sign of successful worship. It comes by letting go of our individuality. We must let go of whatever particular form of worship we're engaged in.
The way to do this is simple: worship in your chosen way for a period, then let go of the thought and intent. You will feel some level of release, relaxing, and settling in to universality. After a moment of that, worship again for a period, and again let go. Continue repeating this cycle of worship and letting go. Over time you'll see a deepening universality in your life.
The length of the worship period between letting go depends on the worship you've chosen. If you're simply practicing sacred sex with a worshipful intent, do so for 30-60 seconds, then let go 10-15 seconds, and repeat. If you're recounting qualities of your lover, let go after each named quality. If you're performing some other repetitive worship, let go after each repetition.
If you sink into a deep blissful state when you let go, stay there longer. If you need more active worship to stimulate your experience, worship longer. The above are just guides; find the routine that works best for you.
Worship is a form of desire. We worship to fulfill our desire to unite with a chosen spiritual ideal. The Circle of Desire is a teaching that explains the wisdom behind worshipping and letting go. To learn more about it, see the lesson of Sacred Desire. For more on the specific practice of letting go, see the follow-up post just below it, here.
TABOO WORSHIP The practice of letting go further explains why the type of worship doesn't matter. Whatever form you choose, success comes in letting go. All worship is identical in letting go. This is why sacred sex allows 'taboo' forms of worship that repressive traditions may condemn as sacrilege. The worshipper transcends the so-called purity or impurity of the worship. You sanctify your worship when you transcend it. No form of worship, no matter how 'pious', is truly sacred without letting go and merging with universality.
In this day and age, such forms of worship are likely even more popular and powerful than the 'pious' ones, because our hearts and minds are so flooded with those images. If this resonates with you, worship your lover as a Sex Stud or Sex Queen, or whatever 'ideal' appeals to you.
Just be sure to let go and sink into the ecstasy of it. Then come out and do it again.
WORSHIP AT WILL While sacred sex worship opens new doors to ecstasy, you do not need it for sacred sex practice at any level. If you object to it on any grounds, it doesn't appeal to you, or you simply don't want, then don't do it. It is an optional practice that adds another dimension to sacred sex for those who choose to enjoy it.
Even if you do wish to add it to your practice, you needn't expressly, explicitly, or overtly do things like worship your partner as divine. Most people find this uncomfortable and/or out of character, especially at first. Rather, sacred sex worship is a natural attitude that grows with experience over time. As you experience Sacred Union more and more, you come to see your partner as a catalyst for that, and your love and appreciation deepens. You begin to see their role in your own spiritual awakening, and you honor them for that. Even then, it may remain a silent, unspoken reverence in your heart -- where it counts. When you feel inspired, openly express and share it with your partner.
Like everything in sacred sex, honoring the body - and the sex act - expresses the true nature of life, and evolves in a natural way. Enjoying it brings natural honor to life.
Copyright 2007, Society for Sacred Sexuality - all rights reserved.
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Endnotes for quotes:
Robert Bates, Sacred Sex (Hammersmith: HarperCollins Publishers, 1993)
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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it. |
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