Follow Your Heart
A practical guide to sacred sex ecstasy
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| Follow Your Heart Posted: December 7, 2004 |
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Of all the sacred sex teachings, none are more vital than this: follow your heart's desire.
Following your heart's desire leads to success and happiness in life.
Following your desire leads to health and well-being, including sexual health.
Following your desire is healing.
Following your heart's desire brings self-esteem and positive body image.
It reduces craving, obsession, and destructive habits.
Following your desire leads to authentic relationships, gender identity, and sexual orientation.
Following your heart's desire brings both universal and personal love.
Following your desire unfolds your full potential.
You achieve all your best in the material world, and also the spiritual world.
Following your desire leads to professional fulfillment.
You earn your living doing what you love.
Following your desire contributes your maximum to the social good. Everyone following their desire creates ideal government, economy, education, environment, and global harmony.
Following your desire satisfies your ego and 'destroys' it at the same time.
Your ego unites with Cosmic Ego and follows Cosmic Desire.
Following your desire leads to conscious creation with support from almighty nature.
Following your desire brings you the ultimate desire -- Sacred Union & Sexual Enlightenment.
CORE DESIRE Following your desire enriches every aspect of your life for one reason: your desire is in your DNA. It is part of who you are. Desire is written in your heart of hearts -- therefore, follow your heart.
If you doubt this, think about your own desires. Think of some of the basic things you like. Food is a simple example. Think of some foods you like, food that you desire. Now think of some you don't like.
Did you make these food choices with your mind? Did you ever decide to like or dislike a particular food? Do you have much choice about what you like or dislike? If you love pizza, can you wake up one day and decide not to like pizza any more? If you hate liver, can you suddenly truthfully say, "From today forth, I want liver". Or do your taste buds dictate what you want and don't want...whether you like it or not! More precisely, are your culinary desires a choice, or does the DNA that makes your taste buds determine what they want to eat?
Another example, more relevant here, is sex. Everyone has particular sexual desires. Physical attraction is the most basic example. Some like blondes, some brunettes, and others like redheads. Some like tall, slender lovers, some like athletic types, and others like full-figured, voluptuous or teddy-bear types. Some like fair skin while others are drawn to dark complexions. You may have a penchant for Latin lovers, Orientals, Middle Easterners, Blacks, Whites, or any other ethnic group. Whatever your preference, ask yourself this: can you change what turns you on? Can you suddenly detest your 'perfect lover' type? Or love your biggest turn-off? Desire is more than just a daily choice. Your desire is deep inside you. Desire is who you are.
Yes, childhood and other experiences influence desire (for example, what mom fed you as a kid or your first love), but these too, like DNA, predispose you to certain likes and dislikes. They are like your DNA in that they make you who you are. Together, your genetic makeup and past history create the blueprint for all that you want in life. Nature and nurture combine to form the foundation for your every desire.
Following your desire enriches your entire life because it is the reason for which you are born. Your DNA is your code for personal expression. It makes you unique. Desire is the mechanism by which DNA expresses itself in daily life. It inspires you to fulfill your genetic destiny. When you follow your heart's desire, you live out your life purpose. That enriches every aspect of your life.
SEXY DESIRE Following your heart may seem like a non-sexual teaching. And it may seem strange that a sexless tenet is so central to sacred sex, but it's not that way at all.
Following desire is the deepest driving force of sex. Ditto for sacred sex.
In fact, it is this very point that makes sex potentially so much more than a bodily act. It has the power to be a sacred one.
The fact that sex is so deeply driven by desire, and that desire so deeply drives life, gives sex the capacity to transform life. By awakening desire, sex can awaken your life. By fully awakening desire, it can spiritually awaken your life.
The relationship between sexual desire and general desire goes both ways. Following your sexual desire strengthens your life desire, and following desire in life vitalizes your sex desire. When you follow your heart in every way, desire becomes more than a mundane urge. It becomes your link to the cosmos. It unites you with Divine Desire.
Desire does drive sex, but it does a whole lot more. Desire drives life. Sacred sex uses desire as a means to spiritual awakening. It is a way to live spiritual desire in worldly life.
Sacred sex encourages you to follow your desire because it leads to Sexual Enlightenment.
DESIRE AS GODDESS In sacred sex, there is a direct relationship between desire, the Goddess, and you. Sacred sex teaches that the Goddess is Cosmic Desire, and She manifests as personal desire in you. On a universal scale, She is Mother Nature. In you, She is your personal nature -- the unique desires that inspire you to life. Through the personal desires of every unique being, the Goddess works Her Will in the world. Following your desire aligns you with this Cosmic Will. (These ideas are fully explained in Meet Your Sacred Sex Family, the Divine Feminine, Sacred Desire, and Sexual Enlightenment.)
Nature - Cosmic Desire - is always evolutionary. Natural desire is the current in the stream of life -- it carries everything along toward the ocean of fulfillment. Fighting, ignoring, suppressing, repressing, or otherwise not following your desire pits you against Cosmic Desire. It is like swimming upstream against the current of life. It is the sole reason that life is a struggle. Swimming with the flow of natural desire puts the entire stream of nature at your back. The Almighty Goddess carries you along, supporting your every desire, because ultimately, it is Her Desire.
In order to be true to your nature - in order to live a truly authentic life - it is essential to follow your heart's desire. Leaving desire unfulfilled is to court disaster. Following the will or 'advice' of others against your own desire, or wandering through life taking only what comes, without making conscious choices yourself, is a recipe for ruin.
Life is a human-divine partnership. Man and woman carry out Divine Will by following their God & Goddess given desires. All success, happiness, fulfillment, and spiritual attainment come from that. All problems, conflict, and suffering result from not following desire.
There is a deep distrust of desire by many that promote human ideals. Secular humanists often contend that it is desire that causes problems and conflict. But this view fails to comprehend the unifying force of Divine Desire. Universal Desire orchestrates personal desire so that it works in Divine Harmony. For a full explanation of this, see Sexual Enlightenment.
The distrust is even deeper among religious and spiritually minded people. Western religion often labels desire the 'work of the devil'. This view misses the same divine impetus that drives true desire. Eastern religion shuns desire on more philosophical grounds. It claims that desire binds you to the world, preventing you from transcending worldly consciousness. It urges you to 'abandon' or 'kill' desire. Practitioners interpret this as going through life without desire.
But this is a great distortion of the true meaning of Eastern scripture. Such teachings are only meant as techniques to free you from desire's binding influence. They are not meant as ways of life.
Desire itself has no binding power. This entire creation is the Cosmic Desire of God & Goddess, yet it does not bind them to worldly consciousness. The binding effect of desire is only due to the inability of an impure nervous system to desire from a transcendental level. An evolved nervous system desires in transcendental ecstasy.
Curiously, sex makes the whole thing clear. In sex you have both desire and pure ecstasy. Ecstasy is the moment of orgasm. It is a flash of expanded awareness, untouched by worldly thought and experience -- it is inner transcendental ecstasy. Everything that comes before it is desire.
As everyone knows, sexual desire is very binding. It holds power over us like no other desire. Yet this grip is neither unbreakable nor unending. We fall into ecstasy the moment we let go into orgasm. That letting go is literal: we let go of - abandon or kill - our sexual desire.
The fact that we can experience transcendental ecstasy in the context of such a 'binding' desire shows that desire does not really bind. If it did, sex would be the last place we'd get free of it. It also shows two more things. First, it shows that enjoying pure ecstasy is natural to life; we do it without even trying. Second, and most important, it shows that we don't need to be less desirous; we need to be more orgasmic!
Fleeting glimpses of ecstasy are not enough to free us from the binding influence of desire. We need to experience extended ecstasy on a regular basis to habituate our nervous system to it. In that way, we train ourselves to stay in transcendental ecstasy even while we desire. This is what sacred sex, with its experience of extended orgasm, does.
Eastern practitioners and Western religious followers distort other teachings in a similar way. These involve the idea of surrender. The teachings encourage you to 'surrender to God'. Followers often interpret this to mean give up all desire and think only of God (or realize yourself as God). But this distorts the meaning of surrender. Surrender doesn't mean do nothing. Rather, it means surrender to your true nature -- follow the God-given nature in your heart. It means follow your natural desires.
Surrender of desire does also mean 'let go' in the way described above, so that you desire in transcendental ecstasy. But as it applies to practical life, it simply means follow your nature.
DESIRE AS DUTY The role of desire in Eastern philosophy is in fact directly tied to spiritual life. As such, Eastern teachings view following natural desire even as a moral duty.
In India, the word for right action, or one's personal duty in life, is 'dharma'. Dharma can be translated as 'natural law'. It refers to the laws of nature that guide all evolution in creation. To follow one's dharma is to live in harmony with natural evolution.
Dharma expresses itself in the natural desire of the individual. These natural desires are the means by which your personal nature evolves. You desire something, set out to achieve it, and grow in the process. You then desire new things. Each thing you desire reveal and expresses a little more about who you are.
Think of yourself when you were a baby. As an infant, you hadn't accomplished much of anything in life. Yet looking back, you sense that the personality and desires that shape your current life must have been there in seed form, even as a newborn child. Your desires were latent, waiting to come up and be pursued. As they have done so over the years, you have grown in your nature. This is the role that following desire plays in your life.
Eastern thought recognizes desire as the catalyst for expressing and evolving your personal nature. It therefore enjoins you to pursue it as a moral duty.
Oriental philosophy has a similar term, the 'Tao'. Translated to English, Tao means simply 'The Way'. Like dharma, it is the natural way, or law, of creation. Taoism urges its followers to live according to the Tao.
Descriptives are added to explain the Tao as it applies to different spheres of life. 'Tian Tao' refers to the Universal Tao -- the cosmic order of things. 'Ren Tao' refers to human social order & practices. Taoism holds that Ren Tao should align with Tian Tao; human nature should align with cosmic nature.
The Tao Te Ching, the central text of Taoism, states this plainly:
| Quote: |
"True Mastery is gained by letting nature take its course.
It cannot be gained by fighting nature."-- Tao Te Ching, verse 48 |
The verse elaborates by teaching the path of 'wu wei', or non-action. But this non-action is not inaction, but rather a harmonization of personal nature with universal nature. The verse includes the notion of 'wu be wei', or 'not left undone'. Another verse explains that they coexist in the spiritually awakened, in contrast to ordinary men:
| Quote: |
"The Master does nothing,
yet he leaves nothing undone.
The ordinary man is always doing things,
yet many more are left to be done."-- Tao Te Ching, verse 38 |
A popular Zen verse gives a similar teaching:
| Quote: |
"Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.
After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water."-- Zen proverb |
You follow your nature (desire) before and after spiritual awakening. The only difference is your experience of it.
When you follow your true nature, you serve as an instrument of Cosmic Nature. This not only brings universal support to your actions, but also spiritual gain. Those who think that desire leads us away from spirit fail to understand the fundamental essence of desire. Desire always flows in the direction of more & more. Therefore, Infinite Spirit, which is the 'most of the most', is necessarily the ultimate aim of all desire.
This is easy to understand when you think in terms of experience. We pursue desire for the experience of joy, happiness, and fulfillment. Therefore the ecstatic bliss of Pure Spirit makes it the ultimate desire. This explains the draw of sex -- the glimpse of ecstasy we experience during orgasm attracts our desire. Sacred sex seeks to make that permanent. Following your heart is a complementary teaching that keeps you in that natural flow.
The following sacred sex text sums the message up:
| Quote: |
"Do not suppress your feelings,
choose whatever you Will,
and do whatever you desire,
for in this way you please the Goddess.
No one succeeds in attaining perfection
by employing difficult and vexing operations;
but perfection can be gained
by satisfying all one's desires."-- Guhyasamaja Tantra |
(For more discussion of the philosophy of desire, including the Eastern viewpoint, see Sacred Desire.)
Of course, following desire doesn't just unfold spiritual potential; it inspires human potential too.
Desire fuels your life energy. It animates your every action. Desire is the driving force behind life itself. It creates the karmas that propel your soul into a new body and a new life. By following, evolving, and expressing your nature, you realize your full potential.
Potential begins with desire. Everything you are and have done began with desire. Desire is achievement in seed form. If you snuff out the seed, or throw it away or otherwise fail to nurture its growth, you never achieve anything. How can you reach your full potential if you don't pursue it?
In the desire of a child, "I want to be a doctor", is the seed to that future doctor's achievement.
DESIRE & YOU If you still doubt that desire is part of your very core, and impossible to change or ignore, answer the following:- How many times have you tried to change something about yourself, but no matter how firm your conviction, you always fall into the same old pattern of behavior?
- How many times have you tried to ignore a desire that you've judged to be 'bad', only to find it continually recurring?
If you doubt that desire is the prime mover of life, answer this:- How hard do you have to prod yourself to do something that you think you 'should do', or feel you 'have to do', but don't want to do?
And if you doubt that is desire is paramount to your happiness, answer this:- How much real satisfaction do you get out of doing things you 'should do', but don't want to do?
- Conversely, think of the joy you get doing things you want to do, whether you think you should do them or not.
If you answered like most people, you see the need to follow your heart. How then to do it?
While following desire is natural and many don't need help with it, others do. If you have a history of struggling through life, don't really know what you want, or otherwise feel like you've lost your way, it may not seem so easy. If this describes you, this lesson will help. Even if following your nature comes easy to you, the teachings below can help you fine-tune your life, or help you see your way through rough patches.
The first step is to learn how your heart speaks to you.
LANGUAGE OF THE HEART The language of the heart is the language of experience. It is the language of your personal experience. It is the language of your DNA - your nature - and that of Cosmic Nature speaking back.
Because everyone has a heart and DNA, the language of the heart is a universal experience. Everyone's heart speaks to them, and nature always speaks back.
There are two sides to the language of the heart. The first side is your nature, which speaks to you through desire. The second side is Mother Nature, which speaks to you through her response to your desire. We'll start with desire.
Language of Desire The language of desire is very simple: if it's there, you have it.
If the desire for something comes up within you, accept it as a desire. This may seem obvious, but we often don't do it.
The mind does all manner of perverse things with desire, from doubting and ignoring to judging and banishing. It even tries to convince itself the desire isn't there! Anything other than innocent honest acceptance of desire is unnatural. It is a misinterpretation of the language of the heart. And as everyone knows, when communication is misinterpreted, life can be a mess.
It doesn't matter whether the desire comes up positive, negative, dismissive, judgmental, repressive, or any other way. Whatever the form, it indicates positive desire.
All of the following mean the same:"I want to be a doctor."
"I want to be a doctor, but I'll never get into med school."
"I want to be a doctor, but my lawyer dad will kill me."
"Who am I kidding, I'd never make it as a doctor."
"A doctor? Yeah, in my dreams."
"I'd love to be a doctor...maybe some day."
"I've got to get this doctor idea out of my mind!" Or with sex:
| Men | Women | | "I want to have sex with her." | "I want to have sex with him." | "I don't want to have sex with her;
she'd never speak to me again." | "I don't want to have sex with him;
he'd never call me again." | "I can't have sex with her;
she'll find out I'm lousy in bed." | "I can't have sex with him;
he'll find out I'm a virgin." | "I can't ask her to have sex with me;
she'll think I'm a pig." | "I can't ask him to have sex with me;
he'll think I'm a tramp." | "She'll never have sex with me;
she thinks I'm a loser." | "He'll never have sex with me;
he thinks I'm a flake." | | "I can't have sex. I'll get a reputation." | | "I can't have sex. We're not married; it's a sin." | | "Some day I'll get up the nerve to ask her to have sex." | "I'll ask him to have sex after I lose some weight." |
In every case above, a desire has come from within. In the first example of each set, we respond naturally: we accept the desire for what it is. In the examples thereafter, we judge, fear, dismiss, suppress, or otherwise block the desire. But if the desire were not there, there would be nothing to block -- our response confirms that the desire is there.
If you are truly undesirous of something, you simply don't think about it, like eating nails or jumping out of trees. It never crosses your mind. But if someone constantly thinks, 'I shouldn't have sex', day after day, it's clear that the person is struggling with that desire. He is trying to talk himself out of the desire. The more a person must fight a desire, the stronger that desire is.
Judging desire blocks it more than anything else, especially when we give it 'divine authority'. Sex is a perfect example of a natural desire we often think God judges as sinful.
But nothing is sin in God's creation. As God Himself pronounced, creation is 'all good'. It is only we who take it upon ourselves to judge things good or evil. Judging creation is a human phenomenon, not a divine one.
All duality in creation is a myth. Ultimately, there is no such thing as good or bad, right or wrong, or any other division. We live in a uni-verse. Unity is the ultimate reality. This means "I don't want" is not opposite "I want". If you constantly think, "I don't want sex, I don't want sex", it means that you want sex, and are repressing it.
Either the desire is there or it's not. Even if it comes up negative, it's there. The only sign that a desire is not there is if it never comes up. (For the full truth about duality & negatives, see Myth of Evil.)
When we judge desire, we create a deceiving, artificial language around it. The true language of desire comes from the heart. It uses phrases like, 'I want...' Judgment comes from the mind. The mind decides something is good or bad. The mind creates its own language of desire. It centers on phrases like, 'I should...' and 'I should not...'
When you judge, your mind directly opposes your heart. It uses its own language to convince your heart to go against what you truly feel.
Your mind uses 'should' to talk your heart into something it doesn't want. Your mind uses 'should not' to talk your heart out of something it does want. Both go against your heart.
If you find yourself using the language of the mind, the way to follow your heart is to ignore 'should' and accept 'should not' as your desire. Below are some examples of judgmental desires and what they really mean:
| Judgmental Desire | True Desire | | "I should work out more often." | "I don't want to work out." | | "I should help out at the club." | "I don't want to help at the club." | | "I shouldn't eat that." | "I want to eat that." | | "I shouldn't have sex unless I'm married." | "I want to have sex before I'm married." |
Note that there is a distinction between rational judgment and moral judgment. Rational judgment is the use of common sense, etc., to choose a course of action. While this may also go against your heart, it is for your overall good. For example, 'I should do my taxes', belies that you don't really want to do them, but you are better off if you do. If you're unsure about a desire framed as 'should', check whether you're basing it purely on moral grounds.
This does not undermine true morality. True moral actions always have genuine rationale behind them, most notably, the promotion of human life. Only ones that have no such basis (such as 'sex is sin') are referred to here.
Repressive judgments of good & bad typically originate outside us, but we accept them as our own. We learn these from parents, teachers, and social & spiritual leaders. They generally prohibit us from doing things we want to do (though they may also press us to do things we don't want to do). When conflicts arise over such desires, rely on your own heart -- ask what you want, and accept that as what's good for you. True moral judgment comes from within, not from others.
There is another case in which outside factors try to sway the heart. They try to make us think the desire is there when it's not. That too has its own language: 'I don't know'. These are the times when you deliberate, hem & haw, and change your mind about whether you want something. The language translation here is simple:
'I don't know' means NO.
The reason is that indecision takes place in the mind. Desire comes from the heart. If you can't decide, the desire is in your mind, not your heart.
Your heart knows when it wants something. It makes its desire clear. Indecision means the desire is coming from another source. It's not your heart's desire. Let it go.
The seed for such desires most often comes from outside. Something external plants the idea in your mind that you want something. But because your heart doesn't agree, indecision results.
Advertisements are a perfect example. They plant the desire for a product in your mind. Ads always include reasons - mental justifications - for why you should want to buy. Maybe it's on sale, the 'latest' technology, or the 'in' style. Your mind picks up on that and tries to convince your heart. But your heart's not really interested, so there's a debate. Now you know which side to let win -- follow your heart.
'I don't know' is distinct from the negatively framed desires described earlier. In those cases, the mind gave reasons against the desire. Your heart wants it, but the mind tries to stamp it out. An uncommitted heart is just the opposite. Here, your mind justifies for the desire. Your heart doesn't want it, but your mind tries to talk you into it.
If you're ever conflicted over desire and are in doubt which side to heed, check which side your mind is on -- justifying for or against. Whichever it is, your heart says the opposite.
(If your mind isn't arguing either way and your heart simply isn't clear whether it wants something, that also means 'No'. Your heart is clear when it wants something.)
That's all there is to the language of desire. Later, you'll learn how to choose which to act on and which not. Now, we'll explore the flip side of the language of the heart.
Language of Response You might expect the language of the heart to end with desire. Your heart expresses its desire, and that's it. But your heart speaks to you after desire too. It gives feedback on your desires. To follow your heart, you must know this language too. It is the language of response.
While you experience this response in your heart, it is often triggered by something outside you. Some event may occur that you experience a certain way. In order to fully comprehend the language of response, you must see the connection between desire and external events.
When you act on your desire, you get a response from nature. This is because your desires spring from your nature, which is part of Mother Nature. The whole of nature feels and responds to your action the same way that you feel and respond to something your hand does. Your hand is part of your body. Likewise, you are part of the body of Nature.
If you do something you don't want to do, you violate your nature and get a response of suffering from Mother Nature. If you follow your desires, you act in harmony with your nature. Mother Nature responds with satisfying contentment.
Like that, you have a positive or negative experience associated with the desire. You feel that in your heart. That is your heart responding to the desire.
Mother Nature responds to desire just as her name suggests: like a mother (or father). As intimate relations, they respond positively when you please the family, and negatively when you don't. This lets you know whether you're in harmony with the desires they had for you when they brought you into the world. Of course, Mother Nature's desires are always the true desires of Her children, so there's no conflict.
Here is the main point about the language of response:
While there are an infinite number of ways the response may come, they basically fall into two categories: positive & negative. All you need to know about any response then, is which one of these it is.
The language of response is a binary language. Everything can have only one of two meanings. Everything must be translated as that.
As with negatively framed desires, the language of response is technically unitary, not binary. The responses fall on a spectrum ranging from positive to negative. Also, as you'll see later, negative responses are not truly so; they are opportunities for positive learning experience.
Seeing response as a spectrum adds subtle meaning to the language. Response can be very positive or very negative, or anywhere in between. You can take the degree of response as a sign of its importance. It's more vital to get a strong positive or negative message than less strong ones.
Basically though, responses are simply positive or negative.
The response from nature is rarely verbal. Creation doesn't bellow in your ear, "You shouldn't have done that!" Rather, nature responds in non-verbal language. Though non-verbal, it is pleasantly or painfully easy to understand, literally.
Nature's positive or negative response comes to you as joy or suffering. As mentioned, it may take any number of forms:
| Positive | Negative | | subjective experience | | contentment & satisfaction | turmoil & dissatisfaction | | energy & enthusiasm | lethargy & antipathy | | self-confidence & esteem | no confidence or self-worth | | feel 'at home' | feel 'like a fish out of water' | | intuition what to do | guessing & confusion | | bodily experience | | pleasure & comfort | pain & suffering | | vibrant health & vitality | wanness & dis-ease | | result experience | | achievement & success | frustration & failure | | prosperity | impoverishment | | interpersonal experience | | harmonious relations w/partners | disagreement & conflict w/partners | | objective experience | | auspicious omens | inauspicious omens | | supportive resources | going it alone | | good 'luck' | bad luck | | everything goes your way | one problem after another | | 'miracles' | insurmountable obstacles |
As you can see, you are naturally attracted to the positive responses. The language of the heart naturally leads you in a positive direction.
Here are some common examples of responses you may get in real life:
| Positive | | Action | Response | | you follow your desire to pursue your favorite hobby | contentment & satisfaction | you try out for that local theatre group
you've always dreamed about | energy & enthusiasm | | you join a group that shares your love of sports | you feel at home | | you break new ground in that research you love | you intuitively know
what to do | | you get that massage you always wanted | comfort & pleasure | | you follow that fitness routine you enjoy | health & vitality | | you pursue that career you love | prosperity & success | | you marry the love of your life | harmonious relations | | you decide to pursue that dream business | supportive resources | | you follow your desires in everything you do | everything goes your way | | Negative | | Action | Response | | you wake up everyday and go to that job you hate | turmoil & dissatisfaction | you exercise not because you want to,
but because it's 'good for you' | lethargy & antipathy | | you don't even try for that new job you want | no self-confidence or worth | you try something new
just because someone tells you to | you feel like a
fish out of water | | you tackle some unwanted project as a favor | helplessness & confusion | | you start on that dreaded project | you feel 'sick' | | you put in 30 years at that stressful office | recurring health problems | | you work like a dog at an unrewarding job | you struggle to get by | | you keep struggling, even though you hate it | repeated failure | | you 'settle' for an incompatible partner | disagreement & conflict | you do something for others,
not because you want to but to be 'good' | no one cares, no one helps | you hang on to that piece of junk
you wanted to sell 10 years ago | one problem after another |
It's easy to get caught up in any of these experiences, especially when they happen to you. If you're stuck in a dead-end job, you may wallow in your misery. If you've got some health condition, all you think about is how miserable you feel.
When this happens, it's also easy to miss the message your heart is sending you. You don't see that your heart is giving you a negative response to something in your life.
If you're having trouble understanding your situation in life, step back and ask this simple question: 'Is this a good thing or a bad thing?' That's all you really need to know about it. That's the language your heart is speaking. Remember, response is a binary language. It's not about what you experience, but whether it's good or bad.
Think of the myriad responses as the various ways that you can describe soemthing. You can use countless words to describe a tree, but in the end, they all mean 'tree'. Whatever response you feel in your heart, the bottom line is positive or negative -- desirable or undesirable.
The above examples are just that, general examples. They teach you the basic language of response. Use them as guidelines, but know that the language of response is highly personal. Remember, the response may be triggered by something outside, but how you experience it is what counts. It's your response.
Say you're involved in an accident and your car is totaled. For most people, that's a clear negative experience. Without question, it feels bad to you. That's your response. But consider a different situation. Maybe you got a great new job last year with a big pay raise. You've been wanting to get a new car for months, but just haven't gotten around to it. When your accident happens, no one's hurt. You're a little shaken up but you don't really feel that bad. In fact, you think, 'Good, now I've got an excuse to get that new car.' The accident is the same, but your experience of it is different.
A simpler and more common example might be getting fired from that job you can't stand. Rather than feel bad about it, you sing 'good riddance!'
It's your experience that tells you whether it's positive or negative.
Because it's completely personal, only you can truly interpret its meaning. This applies to every response you get from nature, because each response you receive is meant for you and you alone. No one else can give you the meaning, and no one can change what you know it to be. This lesson can teach you the language through which nature speaks to your heart. It's for your heart to know what she's saying to you.
The fact that nature responds non-verbally, and typically in such ordinary ways, makes it easy to miss the language of the heart. No one can deny that the experience is real -- everyone gets responses like this every day. And you are naturally drawn to the positive so growth comes automatically. But if you consciously know and accept these experiences as the language of your heart - and interpret them as good or bad - you can clearly steer yourself in the direction you want to go, and make faster progress on the road of life.
The language of the heart is there in your heart all the time. Now that you know the language, you can use it to better your life.
Language lets us communicate. It is how we interact. Sharing a language lets us learn from others and grow. Sharing nature's language lets you learn from the greatest teacher in creation. It transforms your entire life into a classroom for learning. Knowing the language of the heart lets you enter into a living relationship with Universal Nature. That relationship guides you through anything that comes your way in life. Learning about this inner guidance is the next step in following your heart.
GUIDANCE OF THE HEART [Note - The following terms all refer to the same source of inner guidance and are used interchangeably for the remainder of the lesson: desire, heart, nature, God/Goddess, inner guidance, and inner truth/wisdom. The first three (desire, heart, and nature) assume the qualifier 'true' or 'pure', which this lesson promotes. Ways to distinguish these from lesser desire, unclear heart, and lower nature are given in this section.]
Following your heart means following the truth within you. Everyone has this truth at their core, and it speaks to them through the language of the heart. When you hear its message and heed it, it guides you through every circumstance of life.
The languages of desire & response carry on an inner conversation in your heart. Desire speaks and response replies. Desire speaks again and the cycle repeats, without end, throughout your life. This is your 'inner dialog'.
Inner dialog is just a name for the means by which we experience desires and their results, and make choices in life. You can call it talking to yourself, inner conversation, or any other name you want. Some people even call themselves by name when internally considering life choices ("Alright Joe, ya gonna marry her or not?").
For many people, there is not much dialog. People in the natural flow of life act spontaneously, without much inner debate or thought. Their inner dialog is replaced by a quiet Inner Knowing. They simply know what to do, without question. They follow their heart as it dictates. This is the ideal, and it evolves for everyone in time.
The steps below will help you get in this natural flow. They are not meant to encourage a life-long habit of self-examination for every desire that comes up. That is unnatural and counterproductive to life. But they are useful for making major changes, working through indecision, re-thinking habitual choices you make, understanding experiences in life, and any other situation in which you're unsure how to respond or proceed.
Once your life is mainly in a natural flow, you won't need these any more. But until then, they help you get in that flow. They are like a boat that carries you across the river of life. Once on the other shore, you no longer need the boat.
Because inner truth is in everyone, everyone can tap into it. Those who are attuned to it call it by various names, some of which we've mentioned. For such people, this inner truth has an inviolable nature -- it is a universal or spiritual truth that is perfect and pure. Thus they typically capitalize whatever name they give it: Inner Guidance or Wisdom, God/Goddess, Higher Self, Universal Mind, or others.
Such people may refer to their inner dialog as 'talking to God', or communing or communicating with their Higher Self. This level of Inner Knowing comes from following your heart.
In the context of this lesson, we will call inner dialog 'Sweet Talk'. Sweet talk is something you do with your lover in private. It is an intimate exchange that binds you together in ever deeper union.
This exactly describes inner dialog. Your ultimate lover is your own Higher Self or Personal Deity. You desire a perfect and sacred union together, and your private inner dialog paves the way. Think of your inner dialog as a courtship; you are wooing your Inner Self with Sweet Talk. And your Self woos back.
Sweet Talk centers on Inner Guidance. It is the main topic of discussion. This Inner Guidance comes naturally as your Sweet Talk unfolds. It does so in three clear steps: desire, response, and adjustment.
Your desire guides you to act, you feel the response in your heart, and that response guides you to make an adjustment, closer to your true desire.
To be precise, the adjustment is another desire. You follow a new desire based on the feedback you got from your previous desire. This keeps the cycle of desire and response going.
As you can hopefully see, this is a very natural process. We have desires everyday and nature responds to every one of them. We then spontaneously adjust to bring more positive response. We do the whole thing automatically every day, to some extent.
This lesson only brings the process to your conscious attention and helps you understand what is going on, so that you can get the most out of your ongoing Sweet Talk. The better your Sweet Talk, the deeper your Sacred Union will be.
We'll cover your Sweet Talk step by step. Each is a step of guidance.
Desire as Guidance Receiving guidance in the form of desire is universal. Even people who insist they don't receive Inner Guidance get this kind of guidance every day, and act on it. They simply call it following their desire.
What name you give it doesn't really matter. If you don't like attaching mystical significance to something clearly human and mundane, then don't. This part of guidance is ordinary; it's the response that often transcends the mundane. In fact, the ordinariness of being guided by desire shows just how natural it is. This natural act sets the wheel of guidance in motion.
Having a desire starts your Sweet Talk going; everything that comes after follows in the same flow. That is why it's so vital to follow your desire, so that your entire inner dialog has a natural flow. That brings us to the most vital point:
Desire IS guidance.
The fact that desires are so naturally ordinary accounts for our biggest mistake: we take them for granted. We ignore, judge, suppress, repress, fight, and do all manner of things to desire except the one thing we should do -- accept it. Now you see how the simplest, most natural thing turns into the most unnatural, life-damaging pattern of life. And we wonder why we suffer.
Desire comes up naturally and automatically in the heart. We typically don't even ask for it; it just comes. Any attitude other than innocent, honest acceptance of what is there throws a kink in the natural flow of life. That sets the stage for unnatural flow in everything that comes after.
Worse still, most things we do to block desire - dismiss, judge, repress, and ignore it, etc. - sweep it under the rug where we can't address it consciously. If you have desires that you judge as 'bad', ask yourself this: is it better to push them away and not deal with them, or accept them as they are and address them? If you keep turning away from them, they keep tapping you on the shoulder from behind. If they aren't true desires and you face them, they disappear. Which brings a better life?
In the end, if you habitually obstruct your desires, you lose touch with your Inner Guidance. You harden yourself to the innocent truth in your heart, and soon you forget how to hear it.
One reason we don't face 'unwanted' desires (an oxymoron that proves there is no such thing) is because we're admitting to ourselves that we're not the ideal person we want to be. But the fact is, whatever tarnishing effect the desire has, if any at all, is there whether we accept the desire or not. The fact that the desire came up, even if we fight it, shows that it's in our character.
We then think we can redeem our character by fighting the unwanted desire. But we would do so much more to resurrect ourselves if we accept it and deal with it face to face, and root it out if it truly is a lesser desire.
Another reason we turn away from such desires is that we're afraid we'll fall victim to their sway and act on them. But this needn't be the case. People have innumerable desires every day, many base, many trivial, and many even conflicting. They do not act on every one.
Just because a desire comes to you doesn't mean you must act on it. Later you'll learn some ways to distinguish which to act on and which not. But attuning to Inner Guidance starts with accepting desire for what it is - without fear, doubt, judgment or any other restraint - and being open to the next step in the natural process, which is acting on it.
Certainly before taking that next step, you consider everything and act appropriately as best you can. But when the desire comes up, don't dishonor yourself - and your Inner Knowing - by dashing it. Desire springs from the heart; heartlessly blocking it eats away at your heart.
You needn't act on it, but at least accept your desire for what it is.
Nurturing Sweet Talk Life-long habits of ignoring & fighting desires disrupt the flow of Sweet Talk between you and your heart. Your heart speaks, but you're not listening. The communication breaks down because you've created a hostile environment for it. Your heart expresses desire, and you don't want to hear it. In such cases, nurturing your Sweet Talk can greatly help following your heart. Below is a way to restore its natural flow.
All you need to do is re-create a safe environment. The heart desires naturally; if it's shut down, you only need to remove the thing that's holding it back. In this case, it's the hostile environment. You can create a safe environment for your heart by giving it what it wants, the opportunity to express desire freely, without limitation. You can easily do this by asking yourself the following question:
"If I were king or queen of the world and could have anything I want, what would it be?"
Ask it innocently and naturally - even playfully - without expectation for answer. Maybe some answer comes, or maybe not. Just ask the question and let go. Ask it periodically whenever you think of it, in the same carefree way. Each time you ask, you might feel a weight lifting from your heart, or some other untwisting going on. Maybe you feel a sigh of relief. This is the denial that you have heaped on yourself leaving.
The untwisting may feel a little uncomfortable. If it does, simply feel the sensation that's in your heart, with innocent indifference. Don't wish it away, wallow in it, or complain against it. Just feel it -- it soon fades away.
You likely won't get your answer until this untwisting is done. But each time you ask the question, your heart feels a little safer, and the weight goes a little more. If nothing else, this is good healing for your heart. There is a good reason why more heart attacks occur at 9AM Monday morning than any other time (true fact) -- people returning to jobs they hate. Or to phrase it another way, desires of the heart denied.
Even if you feel no strong response, you're just as likely to get an answer 'out of the blue' as you are right after asking the question. The heart has a way of speaking up at the oddest moments, when you least expect it.
How many times have you struggled to remember something, only to find it stuck on the tip of your tongue? The harder you try, the more you draw a blank. Then you let it go and hours (or days) later it shoots into your mind when you're washing dishes or the car, reading the paper, walking down the street, or even bolting up from a deep sleep. Why does this happen?
The answer is safe environment. Pressure situations crimp the natural flow of the heart, preventing it from naturally expressing desire. Even asking yourself a question or trying to remember something can put your heart on the spot, and it refuses to answer.
The reason the answer often comes when we're doing some routine task is not just that the heart feels pressure-free, but also that routine tasks put your heart in a natural active flow. That same natural active flow expresses desire.
Even if you don't get an answer to this question, it doesn't matter. You'll have plenty to go on with the desires you do have. This exercise just helps some people jumpstart their Sweet Talk.
Discovering True Desire When you accept desire freely and without judgment, you open yourself to a boatload of desire. Your heart, suddenly set free, seems to want anything and everything. Like a famished lion let out of its cage, it wants to go on a rampage.
This only happens if you're in the habit of denying your heart. Unfulfilled desires build up, along with false cravings to fill the void, and they all pour out when the floodgate opens. If it happens to you, don't mind it. In a short time deluge ends and a more natural flow follows.
Regardless though, when you accept all desires in your heart, you want to distinguish between the true ones and others, so that you know which to follow. In many (or most) cases, you just know which are true desires and act on them, ignoring the rest. But there are times when you're unsure and need to distinguish. Below are tips to help you do that.
The simplest and most natural way is to evaluate desire in the light of common sense. Does it make practical sense and can I reasonably do it? Leave judgment out for now. While rational judgment has a role in common sense, repressive judgment does not. Below you'll learn an easy way to distinguish between these. For now, let your heart be its own judge.
If it passes the test of common sense, it is one sign your desire is true. If it's clearly impractical, then it likely isn't. Accept it as an amusing diversion and move on.
Often though, you have a desire that is doable, but you just can't achieve it now. These are typically big desires, even grand ones, for which you don't have resources to achieve. These desires may be seeds for future projects or they may simply be positive desires that contribute on subtle levels to the global good. If they seem to be general positive desires, simply enjoy them as such. But if you feel that they are seeds for some future destiny of yours, take special care to nurture them. Plan out, just for the fun of it, what you would need to fulfill the desire. Creation hears every thought, and gathers means around every true desire. Even if it is not fulfilled in this lifetime, your soul may be gathering means for future lifetimes. No grand desire goes wasted.
Golden age or messianic type desires are examples of this on a global level. Every impulse for it that fills the hearts of the people brings the reality closer.
It can happen though, that desires come up that we needn't act on. These are desires that you really feel you want, but are just substitutes for deeper ones.
They are not 'false desires', because there is no such thing. Every desire that comes up is real, and has meaning and purpose. But the meaning of some desires is simply that we're unfulfilled, and their purpose is to fill our emptiness.
We might call these 'surrogate' desires, because they fill in for our true desires when we don't follow them.
Surrogate desires only arise in emptiness of heart. Your heart feels empty if its true desires aren't fulfilled. So following your true desires automatically puts an end to lesser ones.
Surrogate desires are easy to spot. They seek instant gratification.
The heart always wants to feel full. When you follow your true desires, your heart feels full even before the desire is fulfilled. The act itself of following true desire satisfies your heart.
When you don't follow your true desire though, your heart feels empty. When it does, it looks for instant gratification to fill the void. Food and sex are the most common surrogate desires because they give immediate gratification.
Surrogate desires also betray themselves when a little light from the intellect shines on them. If you like examining things, below are two more ways to distinguish true desires from surrogate ones.
See whether the desire is proactive or reactive. Proactive desires come up in the natural flow of life. They are healthy, balanced, evolutionary, and life-supporting. Reactive desires fill in when proactive desires are suppressed, repressed, ignored, or otherwise denied. They are typically negative, anti-social, and life-damaging, or aim at instant gratification as above.
For example, desiring a good job is a proactive desire. Wanting to get even with the person who turned you down for it is a reactive one. Desiring a lover is proactive. Seeking to fill your loneliness with chocolate when you can't find one is reactive. Wanting financial security is proactive. Stealing from others when you can't find it is reactive.
In each example, the unfulfilled proactive desire leaves a void that the reactive one seeks to instantly fill.
A related distinction is that true desires are wholly evolutionary; surrogate desires are less so. Desire leads us to more & more. In this way, we grow and evolve. True desires do maximum good for everything in creation. Reactive desires, if they bring harm to oneself or others, are not wholly evolutionary.
One way to encourage evolutionary desires is to ask yourself not, "Do I want this?" but rather, "Does creation (or Nature or God/Goddess) want this?" If you frame it that way, you align your personal desires with those of natural evolution. This brings maximum growth.
In the Kama Sutra of India, a treatise devoted to desire ('kama' means desire), it says:
| Quote: |
| "Any action that promotes Dharma, Artha, and Kama together, or any two, or even one, should be performed, but action that promotes one at the expense of the other two should not be performed." -- Kama Sutra; Part I, Ch. 2 |
This shows that desire in accord with dharma (evolution or natural law) and prosperity (artha) should be performed. The relation between dharma and desire was explained earlier. Note that the text says 'any action that promotes...even one...should be performed', listing kama itself as a justification. This shows that desire has intrinsic value; it is self-justifying. Kama Sutra says that so long as it doesn't oppose natural law or general welfare, desire may be pursued for its own sake.
That leads us to the right attitude toward surrogate desires.
As long as they don't cause harm, surrogate desires are fine to pursue. Especially harmless are those, like food and sex mentioned above, that simply fill a personal void. Their value is that they bring pleasure, solace, and joy into our lives. That is a positive value.
While no permanent replacement for true desires, surrogate ones nevertheless satisfy the heart until we discover those they replace. So long as we don't get lost in them and stop looking for the real ones, they are fine.
One way to use surrogate desires as a springboard for discovering what's behind them is to ask yourself this when one comes up, "What do I really want?"
If you ask that question instead of heading for that chocolate cake when your boyfriend dumps you, you might answer yourself: "I want a good man I can depend on." That may just inspire you to join that computer matching service you heard about.
Surrogate desires fill your emptiness faster than true desires because they bring instant gratification. Chocolate cake works faster, and is easier, than joining some service. But fulfilling your true desire brings deeper, longer lasting results. There's no harm though in doing both. Eat your cake and then sign up for matchmaking. Take the immediate edge off, then get down to your real business. Satisfy your surrogate desire, then fulfill your true heart's desire.
Many people refer to surrogate desires (and even some true ones, like sacred sex) as false, impure, or even sinful. They then use these labels to justify why we should avoid such desires at all costs. But we saw earlier that such divisive labels don't truly describe our uni-verse. Such judgmental views toward desire prevent you from following your Inner Guidance. You stop listening to your heart because you've judged everything in it. You shut down your Sweet Talk.
One way to know whether you're in the habit of judging, controlling, or restraining desires is how much you use the word 'should'. If you regularly think, 'I should do this', or 'I shouldn't do that', rather than, 'I want this or that', it's a sign that you're not following your heart. Should and shouldn't come from the mind; your intellect decides what you should & shouldn't do. 'I want' is the language of the heart. We explained this earlier.
In the same way, you can know by how much you say it to others. If you regularly tell others - family, friends, spiritual followers - what they should & shouldn't do, you are projecting what you do: deny your heart.
When 'should' and 'should not' come up (as pure moral judgments, not rational ones), follow your heart, not your mind. Ignore 'should' and accept 'should not'. Use common sense, not moral judgment, to decide whether to act on a desire your mind says you 'should not' do.
Simply being conscious of this helps you see through it. When it comes up, ask yourself, "What do I want? Not what should I do."
You can use these points to learn about yourself, and live an honest, authentic, truly spiritual life. Drop all your value judgments about good & bad, right & wrong, and accept your desire as it is.
Denying desire puts a damper on Sweet Talk; dealing with it truthfully dials up the dialog.
It's better to see surrogate desires as lesser or lower desires that come up when your higher desires remain unfulfilled. Replacing 'sinful' with 'surrogate' takes the judgment out of it. Rather than beating yourself up over your immediate desires, see them simply for what they are -- lesser substitutes for better ones. This promotes self-acceptance, while simultaneously encouraging growth.
If you feel that too many surrogate desires are crowding your mind, or that they otherwise get in the way of seeing your true desires, here are two ways that you can reduce them while accepting them for what they are:
The simplest way is to do nothing. When surrogate desires come up, just quietly observe them in the mind, without judgment. Innocently watch, as a parent watches over a child. In this simple way, your parental nature replaces your childish one. Do this for a few seconds, or until the desire fades.
If you're more intellectually minded, you can try the following:
Rationally and without taking sides, consider why you have the desire and the reasons for and against acting on it. You often needn't even come to any conclusion; the act of neutrally considering it diminishes its hold.
The above suggestions may not bring immediate results, but if you often apply them when desires come up, they will gradually diminish. You will even notice that all surrogate desires diminish, including ones you don't even observe or consider. This is because judgment-free observation and consideration restore your heart to its natural state, and therefore all unnatural desires stop.
Judging is unnatural to the heart. Every time you judge a desire, you twist your heart a little more. Your heart feels empty. An empty heart craves something to satisfy it. Your heart communicates these cravings through surrogate desires. So negatively judging desires actually increases the quantity of such desires that come up. This is the basis for obsession with 'evil' that some people have. It begins with judging things evil.
Surrogate desires are born of our lower nature. Thus they are a 'mixed bag'. They are evolutionary (as all nature is), but they can also hide our true desires if we don't see past them. It is therefore best to take a Buddha-like 'middle way' attitude. Favor higher desires, but don't harshly judge or ascetically deny those of your current heart.
Your lower nature can lead to mixed experience in other ways too. It can divide you against your true desire.
This usually comes in the form of doubt, fear, or lack of worthiness. We desire something, but our lower nature leaps forward with all the reasons why we can't, won't, or don't deserve to have it. This often stems from a different type of judgment. Rather than judging the desire, we judge ourselves as incapable of getting it or undeserving of having it. We generally dismiss, ignore, or talk ourselves out of such 'silly dreams'. But like judging desire, self-judgment is untrue -- listen to the language of your heart. If the desire is there, it is real.
Just the fact that you desire it shows that you're worthy of it, and can achieve it. As suggested before, take some time and whimsically think what it would take to fulfill the desire. If it's practical, go ahead; if not, just let it go and see what happens.
True desires invariably challenge our limits. That is, they call on us to undertake things that we may not think we deserve, can achieve, or know how to do. This is the main reason we avoid them -- they challenge our comfort level. Yet such desires must be so because they are evolutionary; they are for personal growth, and that means maturing into something we are presently not. They stretch, and even break, boundaries and limitations we have put on ourselves. That is how they awaken us from individual to universal beings.
Therefore, you must be open to leaping into the unknown when it comes to desire. Follow it and trust that your inborn qualities - those that inspire your desire in the first place - will guide you to fulfill it.
Some counselors say that when such desires come up, you must 'face your fears' or otherwise confront your weaknesses or demons. They present it as a direct challenge. For many, this only further diminishes the appeal of taking a chance on your desire. While the encouragement to go forward is good, this is not the ideal way to view the situation.
The best approach is the simplest and most natural: focus your attention on what you want.
Breathe life into your desire, and let whatever happens happen. If doubt, fear, or some other 'obstacle' comes up, fine. Let it come along for the ride. Go ahead with your desire and let your obstructing emotions come along. There is no need to face, fight, overcome, or eliminate them before proceeding. They will go their own way as you progress toward fulfilling your desire. Simply enjoy them as emotional waves on the ocean of life. (See Ride the Sexual Wave & Sacred Sex 'Obstacles' in the Lesson Forum for more on this).
Confronting obstacles only strengthens them -- whatever you put your attention on grows in your mind. Constantly trying to forget or face down your fears only keeps them more squarely in front of your face. Pour all your energy into your desire and you leave yourself nothing to impede it. In that fertile ground, your desire will grow -- from the seed impulse that inspired it, to the tender sprouting thoughts and feelings that inwardly nurtured it, to the tentative shoots breaking ground into sunlight, to the full flowering and blossoming of fulfillment.
If you want to answer your doubts in some way, invite them to give you all they've got. Ask, "What is the worst that can happen?" Even if it were death, your soul would move to another body and you'd continue where you left off. Knowing you can survive the worst possible outcome, and being at peace with it, going ahead with any desire is easy. Besides, the worst that can happen with most desires is a little red face.
(Note: Facing fears solely for the sake of challenging yourself is not only distinct from the above teaching, but also detrimental to life and reckless. Inborn apprehension toward certain things is natural for self-preservation. Overtly challenging that goes against natural evolution. True desire never requires needless acceptance of risk.)
The above teachings show how to let desire guide your life. They apply the language of your heart by putting its words to action. The main message is to accept that desire is nature's way of guiding your evolution in life, and to nurture it by removing limitations, boundaries, and judgments that you place on yourself and your desires.
Sometimes though, you're not sure which direction your heart is telling you to go, if it's saying anything at all. One key to this, given earlier, is simply knowing the language of the heart: 'I don't know' means NO. If you're heart isn't clearly telling you it wants something, deep down you don't. If indecision still nags at you though, below are a few more tips to see your way through.
First, remember that indecision is in your mind; desire is in your heart. Don't try to decide. Let go - forget about it - and see what your heart says. If it's a true desire, it will come back. Your heart will speak up again. It may be soon, or months or years down the road, but true desires return to your heart. Trust it.
You can also get your answer by removing all the ulterior motives your mind might have in convincing your heart it wants something. To do this, simply ask yourself, "If I gain nothing from this other than the satisfaction the act itself brings, do I still want to do it?" This reminds you that desire is for the happiness of your heart. If it doesn't make you happy, don't do it, despite whatever else you get from it.
A similar trick is to take yourself out of the picture entirely. If you're not sure whether you want something, ask the universe - your Inner Guidance - what it wants. True desire is always in harmony with creation; if you feel that nature does or doesn't want something for you, that's a good indicator. Whether you see your Inner Guidance as a deity, nature, creation, or something else, address it personally by asking, "What do you want for me?" or "Do you want this for me?"
You get a similar result by just handing the result over to your Guide. Have your desire, then let go of it with the thought, "If you desire, then let it be so", or "If it be Thy Will...". Or simply say, "Let Thy Will be done."
In the end, lack of clear direction from desire is no cause for concern, because desire is only part of your Inner Guidance. The language of desire is but one side of Sweet Talk. The other is the language of response. If you're unsure about what to do, you can always rely on the response you're getting from what you're doing now. What's more, you can even be proactive and go where you think your heart is leading, and see the response from creation.
Life is an active journey. Every desire you have and action you take moves you along on your life path. And at every step, the universe is there to tell you whether you've taken a step forward, sideways, or back. Take advantage of and enjoy this built-in guidance system. If you're not sure which direction to step, step in any direction and see how creation responds.
Nature is not so concerned if you step off the right track, so long as you see her response and act on it. This is much better than taking no step at all.
The joy of following your heart is that it is not a rigid discipline. It's an interactive process that you learn from and adapt to over time. Enter into it lightheartedly and your heart itself will guide you along.
This proactive approach especially helps in cases where you're unsure because your desire leads in a new direction. You may feel that you can't know if you really want it because you've never been down that road before. Besides the fact that the desire is there, which shows it is real, you can simply try it and see. Nature will tell you by her response.
The 'try it & see' approach also helps when your heart desires but your mind hesitates due to doubt or fear. This is common with big dreams and other desires that greatly improve your life. Your heart desires but mind wonders whether you can achieve it. You needn't answer that question. Just go ahead and let the universe tell you whether you can or can't.
Nature's response is final. It is not for us to judge what is good or bad, or what we are capable or incapable of. You don't know what miracles nature will perform for you if you don't follow your dreams.
This wondrous response is what we'll explore next. It is the second way in which your heart guides you.
Response as Guidance Desire as Inner Guidance is one thing, but to have a true relationship - a live interaction that teaches you how to follow your heart for happiness in life - requires feedback. Dialog is a two-way street. If it ends after your heart speaks its desire, it's not much of a dialog. Your action, if any, and nature's response make it a live interaction. Your heart guides you to action. Nature's response guides you further. New desires and new actions bring new responses. Your heart speaks to you and nature speaks to your heart. Interacting this way over & over makes your entire life an active dialog with Universal Truth. This is how you fall into a pattern of spontaneous Inner Knowing.
The guidance you get from nature's response is even easier to follow than that from desire. To follow desire, you sometimes need to sort through mixed signals from your heart and mind. The tips in the previous section help you do that, but in case you still need a clear sign, you get that from nature's response. Again, that's why it's not the end of the world if you misstep with desire. The response you get guides you back to your true path.
Nature's response guides so well because of its simple binary language. Earlier we saw that you get either a positive response to your desires and actions, or a negative one. (To be precise, the language of response is a spectrum, and so you may get a neutral response. These have subtler, less vital meaning, which we'll mention later.) Positive and negative responses are the main ways the universe guides you. They are its Sweet Talk to you.
The guidance is simple. If you experience satisfaction & contentment, joy, love, openness, awakening, success, or any other positive result, then the universe is pleased with that action. If you experience pain, suffering, unhappiness, repeated failure, or any other undesired effect, your heart is telling you that you're not following your true desire.
If you put your finger in fire, you violate your nature and get a response of pain and suffering from Mother Nature. If you massage your hand with healing balm, you act in harmony with your nature. Mother Nature responds with soothing pleasure.
Like that, God, Goddess, or whatever you call your Inner Guidance, lets you know whether you've followed a true desire of your heart. The response you get from nature is just like you'd get from your mother or father. As intimate relations, they respond positively when you please the family, and negatively when you don't. By attuning to their positive feedback, you harmonize with your parents' intent that brought you into the world. Of course, Mother Nature acts in the pure love and best interest of all Her children, not otherwise as parents may do.
Note the connection between desire and response. If you follow a true desire, you get a positive response. If you don't follow your desire, or get lost in surrogate ones, you get a negative response. This is how nature guides you, automatically, through life. Inner Guidance is there; whether you choose to follow it is up to you.
If you do, you prosper. If you don't, you suffer. It is as simple as that.
How to follow this Inner Guidance is also easy:
 If you get a positive response, continue as you're doing, and be open to new desires in the same direction.
If you get a negative response, change direction and try something new.
Not much need be said about positive response because you're already on the right track. The only thing to note is that true desire doesn't always bring a perfect positive response. Just because you face challenges or obstacles in what you do doesn't mean nature is telling you to stop. It all depends on your experience of the situation. If you feel good about your activity and meet every challenge with enthusiasm, then they are part of your growth. But if you're discouraged and frustrated, and every challenge is just one more stake in your heart, then it's time to change.
Besides, obstacles can confirm true desire. If you face challenges and yet feel to follow your desire more strongly than ever, it's a sign that it's true. Obstacles can show you how badly your heart wants something.
Genuine negative response is broader. Not only do you face obstacles, but also you are miserable doing it. Untrue desires can leave feelings of hopelessness. This is because they will never be fulfilled. This is because your nature is part of Mother Nature. Universal nature only fulfills desires in harmony with your true inner nature. Your heart senses any disharmony and rightly feels hopeless when you follow desires that lead nowhere. Listen to this negative response and make a change.
One type of negative response merits special explanation, because it is often misunderstood. Everyone desires the necessities of life, such as money for basic needs, home, car for transportation, etc. These are certainly true desires. If they remain unfulfilled, we may wonder why the universe doesn't provide these legitimate needs. In such cases, it is not that nature is telling you they are not true desires. Rather, she is telling you to change the desires you are using these needs for.
Basic finances, home, transportation, etc. are the means by which we live. They are true desires for all. But we can use those means to pursue any life we choose. If we've chosen a life not in harmony with our true desire, nature may block our means to live it.
For example, you have a dream to pursue some life work, but for whatever reason, you've ignored it and gone ahead with some other career. You may find yourself financially struggling and unable to provide even basic needs for yourself like food and shelter. Nature is not telling you that your financial desires are untrue. Rather, she's saying that the life you're supporting with those finances is not true to you. Make a change in the direction you are going, and nature will bring all that you need to sustain your life.
That is the meaning of the well-known Biblical passage:
| Quote: |
25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.-- Matthew 6:25-33 |
The 'kingdom of God' is your true heart; that is God - your Inner Guidance - speaking to you. Follow it and all your needs will be cared for by creation. Don't follow it, and you may find even basic necessities of life lacking.
One thing that's vital when nature brings a negative response is to step back and view it objectively. When things go wrong, it's very easy to rationalize, justify, blame, make excuses, and cite mitigating circumstances to convince yourself that you're doing the right thing when all evidence points the other way. The reason it happened doesn't matter. Nature has the power to bring any positive response despite any obstacle or mitigating circumstance. If you've gotten a negative one instead, accept it for what it is, and make a change.
Nature always has your best interest at heart. If she gives you a negative response, take it as guidance and change. You'll be much happier and better off. Making excuses to justify your actions and continuing in the face of negative response just delays your progress in life. It creates disharmony between you and your true heart. It blocks your marriage to your Inner Spirit. It puts off the day of Sacred Union.
Rationalizing bad things that happen is not all we do to ignore our Inner Guidance. We also fall into passive acceptance. We grow accustomed to problems and suffering and accept it as normal life. This complacency stagnates growth because we no longer believe in or follow our desires. We use a 'life stinks' philosophy to perpetuate sheep-like habits. We think we get no help 'from above', but we do, every day. Creation speaks to us. We just have to know what it's saying, and take it as guidance.
Changing your ways when bad things happen may seem obvious, but most people ignore it. How many wake up everyday and go to that job they hate, despite the dissatisfaction & turmoil it brings? How many wallow in self-pity and low esteem, having neglected their dreams? You must take these experiences as guidance.
You do not have to wait for it. Nature always responds immediately to our actions. If nothing else, you will feel an inner sense whether something is good or not for you. But in case you miss this subtle message and other direct effects, nature keeps hammering at you until you wake up.
This happens with both positive and negative responses. When you continually follow your true desires, nature brings so much good fortune that you ultimately acknowledge this higher power in life. That contributes to your spiritual awakening. But we most often see this build up with negative responses. These also accumulate if you don't hear & heed them as they come.
Injury, ill health, personal or financial misfortune, and the like, are often the straw that breaks the camel's back in a long history of not following your heart. Major health crises are the most common example:- The stressed out business exec that ignores his heartburn and high blood pressure for 30 years, but can't ignore the heart attack.
- The smoker that disregards his hacking, but sits up and takes notice of cancer.
- The unhappy worker who buries her misery under excess sweets, finding herself diabetic.
This explains why so many people who live through a major condition change their ways after. On a subconscious level - and often consciously - they finally get the message from their Inner Guidance.
First nature whispers. If you mistake it for the wind, she gives you a gentle nudge. If you pass it off as momentary loss of balance, she speaks up. If you look around perplexed, thinking, 'Did someone say something?' she states her case clearly and firmly. If you reply indignantly, "What's this, and who are you?!" she annihilates the very ground you walk on. Then you complain, "Did you have to be so hard on me?" And now because you are listening, she returns to a whisper, "Yes, I did".
Knowing how nature speaks to us through negative feedback gives us a true understanding of pain, suffering, disease, bad luck, and accidents. Even the common phenomenon of stress, which is ubiquitous in society today, is a negative response from nature to not following our desires. When you don't follow your nature, you feel stressed. You struggle and strain to accomplish everything.
All Response is Positive When bad things happen, it is easy to see creation as strict, harsh, or even vengeful. Even the Bible is full of references to a 'jealous God' who heaps sorrow on His children. But in truth, it is all loving guidance.
What we call 'negative' responses from nature are not that at all. Like negatively framed desires, they are really positive. There is nothing negative in creation. Rather, negative responses are lessons that give us an opportunity to change and grow. They are learning experiences.
A better term than negative is 'appropriate'. The response is as it should be. You get the response that is appropriate to your action. If you befriend someone, they return your friendship; if you spit on someone, they spit back.
It is a law of nature that fire burns. If you put your finger in fire, you feel pain. But that is the appropriate response from nature for that action. We only view it as 'negative' because it's not what we want.
The response ceases to be negative when we learn from it. We take the response as Inner Guidance, and don't put our fingers in the fire again. This shows the response for what it is -- a positive learning experience.
It is only negative if you don't learn from it, and repeat it over & over, thus resigning yourself to continued unwanted results. Even then, the 'negative' is not in the response from nature, but rather in your failure to learn and grow from the experience. And even then it is not negative; it simply is what it is -- you need more time, and more unwanted responses, before you see the cause & effect. If your head is hard, you need a few more hammer blows to get the message.
Ultimately, positive & negative are both inappropriate words. The entire act of judging creation - whether as good or bad - is false. Creation simply is -- beyond judgment. Every response is what it is. The burning nature of fire is simply a law of nature, neither good nor bad in itself.
This judgment-free view of life naturally evolves as you attune to your Inner Guidance. Until then though, it is more philosophical than practical. Seeing your response as good or bad helps you attune to the good.
Like desire itself, nature's response can come in ordinary ways. This may lead some people to again discount a super-human force at work. And that is fine; it doesn't much matter what you call it, just that you follow it -- and such people adjust to positive & negative feedback as well as those who see it as the hand of God.
In time though, as you attune to Cosmic Nature, the response you get is so grand that it can no more be explained in small human terms. That is when you truly know there is a Cosmic Will at work, and that your desire is part of that Universal Desire. This is when your inner Sweet Talk becomes especially personal and intimate. Your Inner Guidance speaks to your personal role in creation, and you sweet talk back. You live hand in hand with Cosmic Nature. (For more on this, see Sexual Enlightenment.)
Here, nature's response can get even more personal, beyond guidance suited especially to you. It gets personal in the way that a lover who knows every intimate detail about you can get personal. That lover doesn't just help you grow; he or she does so in loving ways that appeal to your special nature.
Say you grew up to love trains and consider it a good omen every time you hear that familiar whistle. Then you moved away, started your own business, and forgot about trains. You followed your dream to open community centers for needy kids. A call comes one day from a wealthy philanthropist who's heard of your work and wants to help. You fly across country to meet. As you drive to the meeting, you see a railroad crossing up ahead. Just you come up to the tracks, the gate swings down, a train passes by blowing its whistle way more than it should, and the engineer gives you a wave and a smile as he passes, like he knows you. At your meeting, you get $100 million dollars for centers around the country.
Obviously nature has brought you a positive response. But more than that, she's done it in a way that has special meaning to you. Not only is it intimately personal, but it leaves no doubt that something bigger than you is behind it. Only Cosmic Mind could understand your own mind, and orchestrate events involving other minds to happen a certain way. You are genuinely communicating with the mind of God/Goddess. That is true Sweet Talk.
More often though, nature responds to your desires and actions in quiet, ordinary ways. The non-verbal nature of this feedback, and the normalcy of it all, explain why many people assume they get no inner guidance. Yet everyone has this kind of dialog -- desire & response, repeatedly throughout the day. Just because it's not verbal doesn't mean it's not there. And just because God & Goddess don't appear in a flash of lightening, doesn't mean they're not there, guiding your life every step of the way.
This guidance applies to the tiniest of details and seemingly most insignificant thoughts and actions in your life. You can truly use it to guide you through every moment and experience of life. It is built in to life. Creation is always Sweet Talking you. You have only to listen and talk back it.
You do this by responding in kind to nature's response. This keeps your Sweet Talk going.
Adjust to True Desire There are two sides to every conversation. In the dialog between you and your Inner Guidance there is the desire in your heart and the response from nature. These two have been discussed above. You might think that that's all there is to following your heart. But that would leave out a vital dynamic of conversation: continuous feedback.
Conversation doesn't end with one response. You respond back and your dialog partner responds again. Each response adjusts to that of the other. What you say to your partner depends on what your partner just said to you. This continuous feedback makes for ongoing dynamic conversation. The end result, if each partner follows the other's lead, is a more harmonious relationship.
In Sweet Talk, creation always follows your lead. Whether nature's response is positive or negative, it is always appropriate. It is the correct response to your lead. Successful Sweet Talk then depends on whether you do the same. You must follow the lead of nature.
We can sum up how to do this in one word: adjust.
Just as in conversation, you may have some ideas in mind of what you want to say. But if your dialog partner says something unexpected, you adjust your response. Here's a simple example:
You suggest to your friend that you go to the store. Your friend says, "Great, let's go." You got the positive response you expected, so no adjustment is needed. You go to the store together.
But if your friend responds, "I can't now, I've got some errands to run." That's not the response you expect, so you adjust. "Okay, how about we go tonight?"
Following your heart is exactly the same. For every desire, the response you want and expect is positive. If you get that positive response, you don't need to adjust. You continue with the desire and others like it. But if you get a negative response, you must adjust if you want to stay in harmony with your dialog partner.
Say you're dialoging with yourself, rather than your friend, about going to the store. Your heart desires to go the store. Nature gives a positive response - everything goes smoothly - and you go to the store. You do things like this every day without second thought or even conscious 'dialog'.
But say you hop in your car and all of a sudden you have a 'gut feeling' that you shouldn't go to the store. Then your car strangely has trouble starting when you turn the ignition. To top it off, someone barreling down the street nearly sideswipes you coming out of your driveway.
You're at a turning point in your inner dialog. You've had your desire. Nature has given her response. That response is not what you wanted or expected. You got a negative response. Your heart spoke and nature replied. Now it's your turn to respond. The ball is in your court.
You have a choice to continue to the store or to change your plan. You are free to make whatever choice you wish, but nature's response will be appropriate to that choice. Say you ignore nature's guidance and stubbornly go ahead. Maybe a car accident is waiting to happen up ahead, or maybe you'll miss something important at home while you're out, or maybe you'll make a major purchase that you'll later regret. If you instead follow your Inner Guidance and have a 'change of heart', you avoid whatever mishap is on the horizon.
That is how you adjust to your true desire. Nature's response tells you whether your desire is true or not. By adjusting to that, you can follow your heart to inner truth.
You, and you alone, have the freedom and power to direct your life. Inner Guidance does not give out instructions that you follow, robot like. Not only do you have the free choice to go in any direction you wish in life, but also it is for you to choose that direction. When nature responds to your actions, she doesn't necessarily tell you what to do next. She mainly responds to what you have done. If you've gotten a negative response, you may know it's a sign to change, but it's for you to discover what to change to.
In the above example, you may change your plans about going to the store after nature's response. But it's still for you to choose what to do instead. Do you stay home, go somewhere else, rethink your reason for going to the store, do something you were avoiding by going to the store, or is there something else? You must tune in to what your heart is telling you.
For this reason, one of the most important things about following your heart is to be open to new ideas, opportunities, values, ways of seeing things, attitudes toward others, and any other thing that may come your way. As explained earlier, growth is always about evolving to something new. When bad things happen, it is often nature's way of getting you to look beyond your current ways and open yourself to something new.
Guidance for this new direction can come from two sources. It may come from within, in an 'ah-ha' experience, when you suddenly realize what you must do, or break through to a new way of seeing things. Or it can come from outside, through some sign from creation what you should do. Your nature is part of Mother Nature, so guidance can come from either side -- they are part of the same guidance system.
Being open lets your guidance work both ways. With an open heart, those deep desires you've been sweeping under the rug come out. That encourages guidance from within. Also, nature knows she won't be wasting her time by giving you external signs. If she knows you're open, she's more likely to send some person, information, or event your way that points you in the right direction.
Getting Back on Track Nature gives negative responses for different reasons. Whereas positive responses only come when you follow your true desire, there are different causes for negative ones. It is useful to know these in order to help you get back to your true self.
The two main reasons you get a negative response are:- not doing what you really want
- knowingly doing what you don't want
You can usually distinguish the cause by the nature of the response and the circumstances in which it occurs. Not doing what you want is non-active on your part. The response you get therefore is more of a general malaise -- lack of energy and enthusiasm for life. Doing what you don't like is active on your part. Therefore the response will be something specifically related to that activity -- frustration with the task, negative outcome, etc.
If you're feeling a general malaise about life, ask yourself, "What do I want? What would make me excited and enthused about life again?"
You may or may not get an immediate answer. It doesn't matter; you get your Sweet Talk flowing in the right direction. If you tell the universe you are wanting and ready, nature will respond. Ask, let go, and be open -- your true desire will come when the time is right.
If you're getting a specific negative response to a specific desire or action, the adjustment you make is simple: stop doing whatever it is you're doing as soon as practical. Sometimes you can walk away immediately, but sometimes, due to financial circumstances (leaving your job), family ties, past commitments, etc. it's not possible. It doesn't matter so much. What's important is that you're aware that it's a situation that is not good for you, and that you're doing what you can to change things. That change of intention, even if it doesn't bear fruit for some time, will still dramatically improve your life.
If you know what you want instead, more power to you. Go in that direction. If you don't, ask yourself, "What do I really want in my life?"
Creation also gives a negative response when you think you know what you want, but you're mistaken. You're following your heart, but it's a surrogate desire, not a true one. This is different from knowingly doing things you don't like. Here, you're genuinely mistaken about what you want. Surrogate desires can fool you. You think you want something and chase after it, only to have a bad experience.
Earlier you saw some examples of negative experiences that come from doing things you don't want. Below are common examples of negative responses that happen when we think we've done what we want.
| Negative Response | | Action | Response | | you chow down on your favorite fast food | heartburn & indigestion | | you embark on that risky adventure you heard about | you break your leg | you take that high-stress job
because you love the money | you suffer
a huge financial loss | | you finally satisfy your wish to get even with someone | it makes things worse | | you vengefully snuff out your business competition | it comes back to haunt you | | you marry someone because you have great sex | your relationship stinks |
These can be very helpful experiences if we learn from them. In the earlier cases, you knew you weren't following your desire. Here, you think you are, but nature's response shows you that it is not what you really want. This new awareness helps you let go of your desire for it.
When you have experiences like this, take a minute and see the connection between the desire and the negative response. See that the desire causes the negative response. Since the response is unwanted, the desire falls away. Many of these desires are behavioral patterns or 'bad' habits. If that's the case, don't judge the desire or beat yourself up over it. Just innocently note the connection to the unwanted response and the desire will lose its hold on you.
More important, know that surrogate desires are just replacements for true desires, and that the real way to root them out is to get absorbed in your true desire. Therefore, rather than feeling bad about your surrogate desires, ask yourself, "What do I really want? What is this a surrogate desire for?" Your true desires await you; why wallow away in surrogate ones?
The risk-taker above may find that childhood dream he's been putting off provides all the adventure he needs. The stressed out exec may find she's happier in a more suitable job with average pay. The spiteful person may find they really want the other's friendship. The vengeful business owner may realize he just wants to succeed, regardless of his competition.
This is how your Inner Guidance, in the form of a negative response, helps you adjust your ways.
Surrogate desires will never entirely go, nor do they need to, until your true desires fully replace them. Focus your energy on discovering what those are, and acting on them, and surrogate desires will fade away by themselves.
You may also get a negative response for yet a different type of desire and action. These are truly neutral actions in and of themselves, but are either positive or negative only for us. They fall in the category of 'one man's meat is another man's poison'. One person may get a positive response while another gets a negative response for the same action. This feedback comes because creation responds to both general human nature and your unique personal nature.
If someone puts his finger in a fire, nature responds with pain. That is a general response that applies to everyone. That is how Mother Nature guides general human nature. Humans learn not to put their fingers in fire.
But everyone also has a unique individual nature that is more specific than that. If an athletic type person walks onto a playing field, he or she feels at home. If a creative artist enters the field, she or he might feel like a fish out of water. The act is the same, but nature responds to each person in a way that guides that person's growth. One gets a positive response, the other a negative one.
Nature gives the positive response to the athlete because the field is where his or her athletic nature evolves. The artist gets a negative response because his or her artistic nature does not evolve by playing sports. Nature's response is unique to each individual. This is why you must trust your experience and follow it as guidance. Nature is helping you by giving you so-called negative experiences. She is telling the artist to change.
The response can be ultra-specific. A businessperson may get completely different responses from nature for different product lines, business practices, employee prospects, retail locations, client relations, and any other aspect of business management. Thus nature is there to guide everything in life, down to the minutest detail. We only have to know the language to know what creation is telling us.
It is not possible to list examples of such responses because the acts that cause them are neither good nor bad. Stepping onto a playing field is neutral in itself, but for the artist it is bad while for the athlete it is good. Virtually any desire and action can fall into this category. You must go by your own experience.
You have your own unique nature. Some desires and actions support your personal growth. These will bring positive responses from nature. Other desires and acts hinder your growth. They go against your true nature; they are not what you really want. These bring negative responses from nature.
This type of response offers the greatest opportunity to learn because it can fully guide your personal evolution. But it is also the one we least often notice and follow. This is because of its neutrality in a physical and moral sense. It's easy to see why we get a negative response when we put our finger in fire or steal, but feeling out of place on a playing field is much more subtle. Also, we miss the connection because we have no standard of reference -- we don't know what others experience. We have no idea that some other business owner has fabulous 'luck' selling that one product line that bombs for us.
This is why you must know nature's response language and see that it guides you in every way. Personal guidance like this can help regardless of your situation. If life is good, nature's positive feedback keeps you on the road to growth. If you're lost in life, feel like you're just drifting through, or otherwise don't really know what you want, nature's negative feedback spurs you to change. Acknowledge nature's negative response and shift your Sweet Talk to a positive tone. Say to yourself, "This is not good for me. What do I really want?"
Most people, if they honestly ask themselves, are at least somewhat aware of desires they're not following. Maybe it's not clear or maybe you're unsure, but you have something to go on. If you're getting negative responses to what you're currently doing, try following what's in your heart. Nature is waiting for you to take the first step toward that vague desire so she can flood you with positive feedback.
If you honestly don't know what you really want, you can only try something different. Don't be concerned about fumbling around in the dark. You may simply need more experience to discover what you really want. Try different things and see the response. This shows your openness and readiness to move ahead.
Nature never expects you to do something you're not aware of. If you are meant to do a certain thing now, you will know about it. Keep experimenting, adjusting to the feedback nature gives you. If it's positive, continue in that direction; if not, try something new. In this way, home in on your true desire. Stay open to new opportunities & ideas. In your Sweet Talk, tell the universe that you are open to new guidance, and ask for assistance or a sign. When the time is right, nature will bring you the next best step to take.
Even going ahead with uncertainty brings positive change to your life. It takes you out of the pattern of living that has brought routine negative experience. You'll feel alive again, like you are on a treasure hunt for your true desire. You are, and it is the treasure within you. When you discover and follow it, you will be rich beyond your wildest dreams.
Everyone's desires speak to them every day. And everyone gets feedback from creation every day. Therefore, we all receive Inner Guidance all the time.
Even if you think you've never had it, it's there for you now. You can listen to that Inner Guidance any time you choose. It is the Cosmic Mind guiding your evolution.
Most people don't think 'God' talks to them because they don't know what they're listening for. They don't understand the language, or how to respond. Now that you know how your Inner Guidance works, you can carry on a life-long conversation with your personal God or Goddess. You can Sweet Talk your way to Sacred Union.
Nature may give you negative feedback for different reasons, but the message is always the same: make a change. And the question to ask yourself when things aren't going your way is, "What do I really want?" Keep adjusting to nature's response. This is how you follow your heart.
One last note about neutral responses. Earlier we said that nature gives a full spectrum of responses, not just positive or negative. You may get something in between that seems not to give any guidance at all. But this does guide you in its own way.
Guidance works by attraction and aversion. You do something, good things result, so you do it some more. You are attracted to the positive result. If you get a negative response, you change in order to avoid that response in the future.
This is how the universe encourages desires that promote growth. If you don't get a positive response, the desire doesn't unfold your growth potential for you. Such is the case with neutral desires.
These desires are harmless, but they don't bring positive growth either. They are minor diversions that fritter away the time until something better comes along. They are essentially surrogate desires with little impact on life.
You needn't worry about getting lost in them. Neutral response means you don't get much, if any, of a key positive response: satisfaction & contentment. You'll feel indifferent. Such desires may hold some attraction when they're new, but you soon lose interest and move on. This is how neutral guidance leads you in a new direction.
The main drag on life of such desires is the time they waste. While their lack of enduring appeal limits that, there is one catch. A particular diversion may hold limited interest, but you can fritter your whole life away going from one diversion to another, never following your true desire.
This pattern brings its own negative response: the feeling that life is passing you by, has little meaning, or that you are, as you might expect, frittering it away in meaningless activities.
If you have this experience, innocently acknowledge it for what it is, and see its dragging influence on you. Don't judge it or beat yourself up over it, just consciously note it. Then ask yourself, "What do I really want? What will make me feel that my life has meaning?"
Your Inner Guidance works naturally whether your desires bring positive, negative, or neutral responses. Positive feedback attracts; anything else repels. Thus you have a built-in tendency to follow your heart's desire. All you have to do is act on it. If you're not getting the response you want in life, tune in to your true desires, and act on them. Knowing your heart is one thing; actively following it is another. Following your heart in daily life is how you Sweet Talk your way to Sacred Union.
The best part is that, when you're attuned to your Inner Guidance, Sweet Talk goes on automatic. Sweet Talk tunes you in to your heart, to your Inner Self. Once you're attuned, you don't much need it any more. Like two long-time lovers, you know everything about each other that there is to know. Words aren't needed. A simple wink and a nod and the message is sent. This is how you spontaneously act from Inner Knowing without much dialog.
That comes naturally in time.
PATH OF THE HEART Following your heart is a life-long process. It has no end because desires of the heart have no end. There is always room for more, always opportunity to grow -- evolution never ends. At the same time though, it is not a task or chore that you must constantly work at. It is natural to life, driven by your innate desire for happiness. The tips in this lesson don't add work to your life; they simply help you be more conscious of - and therefore more successful at - something you do already: make life choices based on personal experience. This lesson helps you understand that experience and how it guides you.
Following your heart, like most everything in life, brings results that grow in time. Some rewards come immediately, but others come gradually. You'll feel peace and inner contentment right away from following your heart, even if your desires don't manifest in the world for some time. Take it easy and enjoy the path your heart leads you down, even if it leads over the horizon and you're not exactly sure where. That's the way life is anyway; now you're just living consciously. As long as each step brings greater happiness, you know you're moving in the right direction.
If you've lost your way and are just now taking up the path of following your heart, you may still find yourself stuck in responsibilities and situations that carry over from your past. These are the lingering negative effects of falling off the path. They may be undesirable, but accept them anyway. You may have to do things, go places, or be with people that you don't want, until the positive effects of following your heart show up fully. Consider this karma to be burned up, or unfinished business to be completed. It runs its course.
There is a world of difference between being lost in such things and knowing that they are the remains of a life you are leaving behind. It's much easier suffering through situations when you can see light at the end of the tunnel.
There are no obstacles in following your true desire. Things may seem to be in the way, but they are just nature's way of telling you that the time is not quite yet right for your desire to manifest. Follow your heart and it will reward you in time. Continue on, which is all you want to do anyway because it's your true desire.
Take care of your big desire, and the little ones fall into place. Interruptions, annoyances, unwanted habits, personal shortcomings, and all other 'obstacles' fall away the more you follow your heart.
Following your heart is like following the path of life. It is a process that unfolds in time.
Your path winds and turns, but as long as you're on the right track, all is well. If you've gotten off track however, you can wander for years not even knowing you are lost. Off the beaten path, any number of mishaps may befall you. You repeatedly find yourself in unwanted places and situations. This is the negative feedback from nature telling you that you've lost your way.
You may be miles and miles from your true path, but as soon as you consciously seek out that path, things start to change. You sense that you're heading in the right direction and begin to feel better. Nature shows you some signs. It may take time to make it all the way back to your path, and then more to progress down it, but your life improves with every step nonetheless.
Another analogy describes it differently: building your life is like building a house. Everyone has a dream house in mind -- the perfect place you want to live. Maybe as a child you had that vision, but as you grew older things got in the way, your dream faded, and you 'settled' for a dingy little hut. The roof leaks, the pipes clog, there are holes in the walls, and the lights don't work, but you survive.
One morning you bolt up in bed, reminded of that vision you had for yourself as a child. You vow then and there to build that house you always dreamed of. From that day on, you are consciously following your true desire. You feel alive and rejuvenated as you draw up the plans, buy materials, hire a few helping hands, and begin building.
But Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is your house. And each day after work on your precious villa, you still must return to your crumbling shack, and endure the hardships that carry over from having forgotten your dream. You sleep under your dripping roof and cook on your broken stove. Each day though, you are another step closer to moving in to your new mansion, and leaving those meager days behind you. Each day, you are more and more fulfilled. When that day arrives, as it must, your old hut collapses completely, never to be inhabited again. Now you enjoy the full fruits of following your heart. It's taken time and energy, but it's been well spent. It is time and energy you would spend anyway, so why not spend it on what you really want?
Spend your life following your heart.
FOLLOW YOUR SEXUAL DESIRE If you want another reason to follow your heart, try this: desire ultimately leads you to ecstasy.
Think about it. All desire aims at more and more happiness. It is only satisfied with perfect bliss. Desire never stops until it finds pure ecstasy.
You have only to look to sex to see that it's true. Sex is driven by one of our most powerful desires. That desire urges us on and on during sex. But the moment we orgasm - the moment we fall into ecstasy - desire stops. Desire is satisfied fully. It is not until orgasm fades that desire returns.
Earlier we spoke of the evolutionary role of desire -- that desire is your nature, and that nature is evolutionary. Through desire, you expand your nature and grow. Ultimately, the aim of evolution is to expand your individuality to universality. Your individual nature is to merge with Cosmic Nature. This is Sacred Union.
To show how desire takes you there, you need only know the nature of that experience. Sacred Union is ecstasy. Whatever spiritual tradition you follow, the aim is a state of beatitude, bliss, rapture, or some other heavenly joy. Regardless of what you call it, is it not your supreme desire? Whatever practice or faith you pursue to gain that state, is it not driven by that desire? And does that desire not guide you, showing you when you move closer or further away from that state by your experience?
This is exactly the guidance we've been describing above, and where it ultimately leads. That is why you must follow your heart. You must especially follow it when it comes to sex.
Sexual desire, being among our most primal & powerful desires, has the most power to satisfy the evolutionary aim of desire. Sexual desire has the capacity to take you directly to ecstasy in orgasm. More than that, it has the potential to lead to extended orgasm, and even a state of permanent orgasmic ecstasy through sacred sex.
Sexual desire therefore should not be restricted in any way, either by social or religious norms, or self-created inhibition. Rather, it should be cultivated and developed to manifest its full, sacred potential.
All of the social and religious conditioning against sex is based on the limited experience of conventional sex. Idealists preach against sacrificing permanent fulfillment for immediate gratification. But there is more to sex than limited common sex. Sacred sex expands that instant of ecstasy into permanent ecstatic awareness. It transforms limited desire into boundless rapture. It marries the individual to universal existence. Sex then becomes a vehicle for spiritual evolution, not an obstacle to it.
Many spiritualists also condemn sex because they don't understand that sex energy and life energy are one and the same. These two are not competing forces; they are simply different expressions of the same life energy.
When you desire different things - family, career, recreation, activities with friends, etc. - you don't see these as entirely distinct. You don't have 'family' energy, 'career' energy, 'recreation' energy, etc. You simply direct your life energy in various ways. Sex is but one more direction for your life energy to flow. Why do you think sexual virility and vigor are so intimately linked to your general vitality of life? The answer is that it's one and the same energy.
There is only one energy in creation: life energy. That energy is inherently spiritual. It guides life from inception to its evolutionary spiritual end.
Life is not about choosing spiritual energy over sex energy. If you desire both, it is about finding the commonality between the two. It is about seeing the sacred in sex, and seeing the sexuality of the sacred.
Common sexual desire is not an evil. It is simply a surrogate desire for Sacred Union. We desire sex for the ecstasy it brings. Even though that ecstasy is fleeting, it is the only ecstasy we know. Sacred sex shows you a more permanent ecstasy. Your sexual desire then naturally gravitates to that. Thus sexual desire is not to be suppressed, but rather expanded to its full potential. This brings out the full potential of life as well.
Following your sexual desire without judgment, fear, doubt, guilt, shame, or inhibition lets your life energy flow freely and naturally. Acknowledging, accepting, following, and honoring this quintessential desire is the foundation for freeing up all desire. If you deny yourself this fundamental want, you block the very energy that feeds all other desire. Your life becomes a listless lack of desire.
The benefits of following desire go both ways. Following your sexual desire stimulates your sex energy, which rouses your vitality for life. Following your non-sexual desires fuels your life energy, increasing your sexual vigor and virility.
Human spirit thrives on desire. Desire animates our life force. Life-long habits of denying desire quash life energy. It strips our power in life. We become impotent, not just sexually, but in all of life.
You can also see the link between life energy and sex energy in the nature of orgasm. When you don't follow your true desire, your energy and attention are scattered in many directions. You chase after this and that, seeking happiness. Conventional sex reflects this. Because your life energy is scattered, so is your sex energy. When you orgasm, your energy drains out, giving you only a glimpse of ecstasy.
In contrast, your energy is highly focused when you follow your true desire. You want that, and that alone, because it brings you true happiness. Because your life energy is focused, so is your sex energy. Therefore when you orgasm, all of your energy goes toward maximum joy. It stays within you, expanding and increasing your ecstasy. You enjoy extended sacred orgasm.
Sex also teaches you the supreme wisdom of desire. This entire lesson has emphasized following your desire, and that doing so leads to maximum joy in life. We've seen how nature guides us to this by positively responding to our desires and actions. One of the most direct responses is the experience of joy itself. When you follow your true desire, you experience satisfaction and contentment within. This encourages you to do more of what led to that happiness.
You likely never think of it, but nature gives you the ultimate positive feedback in orgasm. When you experience the ecstasy of orgasm, nature - maybe just like you - is shouting 'YES, YES YES!!' The universe is telling you that you've hit the target -- you've fulfilled a true desire because you've gained ecstasy. In giving you that ultimate response, nature is urging you to repeat whatever you did to get to that state.
It is easy, and common, to gloss over the exact mechanics of what leads to orgasm, and rather just chalk it up to sex in general. Indeed, this is what drives most of us to repeat the sex act whenever we can. But a closer look at orgasmic release shows that there is more to it than just sex.
We engage in sex because of desire. Desire drives our sexual activity. But funnily enough, as long as that desire is there, orgasm is not. Only when we let go of that desire - and everything else - do we fall into orgasm. Orgasm is pure ecstasy -- devoid of thought, emotion, and desire.
What nature is telling you in the ecstasy of orgasm is to let go. She is telling you to let go of desire. When you do, you experience ecstasy.
This has extraordinary implications both in sex and out. In sex, it teaches you to relax and enjoy sex -- to go with the flow. Let go of desire and enjoy the experience. Ride the waves of pleasure as though you are surfing ocean waves. This is a basic teaching of sacred sex.
The same applies to everyday life. Follow your natural desire, let go, and enjoy the ride. This is how to make ecstasy a permanent experience of daily life. This is the essence of following your heart.
This teaching also shows why it doesn't matter what your sexual or non-sexual desires are. Everyone's desires are personal and unique. It doesn't matter what they are because it is the letting go that brings ecstasy. All desires end in the same ecstasy. Orgasm is the same regardless of what sexual fetish gets you there. Permanent ecstasy is also the same, regardless of what life desires get you there. The key is to follow those desires and let go.
Let go into ecstasy.
IT'S YOUR HEART,
FOLLOW IT Your relationship with God/Goddess is yours, and yours alone. No one else can judge your Inner Guidance as good or bad, or right or wrong. Follow your heart regardless of what others think and say, or how the world views you. In the end you are only accountable to your true self, and that is what guides you.
You have your own personal truth and your own destiny to fulfill. That is your true moral code, which none can judge. That is a personal thing, written by your Creator in your heart, and which expresses itself through your unique desires. Follow them and discover the life your Creator has laid out for you.
Your nature is part and parcel of Almighty Nature. It cannot be denied. You can delay the day in which you follow your heart, but you cannot put it off forever.
'Too old to change' is no excuse -- your soul simply moves on to body after body until you heed its call. Every day, every year, every lifetime you wait is simply more time you must put up with nature's negative response to your self-avoidance.
You cannot kill desire. You can judge it, suppress it, deny it, and ignore it - you can torture yourself as long as you want - but until you fulfill it, it will be a thorn in your side. When you simply accept it, and follow it, you'll discover the sweet rose that has always been there, crowning the long stem of thorns on the path leading up to it.
Open the petals of desire in your heart...and watch your life blossom before your very eyes.
See below for printable EZ Reference Charts
summarizing the steps to Follow Your Heart.
Copyright 2008, Society for Sacred Sexuality - all rights reserved.
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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it. |
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| STEPS SUMMARY Posted: July 31, 2008 |
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Summary of Practical Steps to Follow Your Heart
Click Here to print charts for easy reference (If pages don't align, set printer top, left, & right margins to .75 in., and bottom margin to .5 in.)
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Start by knowing what your heart is saying:
LANGUAGE OF THE HEART Language of Desire If it's there, it's a desire.
If something repeatedly comes to you, it means you want that, whether your mind accepts it or not.
Mind may fear, doubt, judge, suppress, deny, ignore, or otherwise inhibit desire.
It may also try to talk you into desire (using externals like peer pressure, false morality, etc.).
Beware language "should/shouldn't" -- it is your mind speaking, not your heart.
If you're conflicted over desire, your mind is fighting your heart.
Whichever way your mind argues, your heart wants the opposite.
If your heart hems & haws over a desire, leave it. Your heart knows when it wants something.
'I don't know' means 'No'.
Language of Response Creation responds to your desires and actions mainly two ways: positively or negatively.
Basic positive experience: satisfaction & contentment
PRACTICAL STEPS TO
FOLLOW YOUR HEART
STEP 1 - Follow desire:
Desire is guidance -- accept it and act as appropriate, using common sense.
STEP 2 - See the Response:
If you experience satisfaction & contentment, joy, love, openness, awakening, success, or other positive result, you are following a true desire -- nature is pleased.
If you experience pain, suffering, unhappiness, repeated failure, or other unwanted effects, your heart is telling you that you're not following your true desire -- nature is not pleased.
 View negative results objectively -- don't rationalize, justify, blame, make excuses, and cite mitigating circumstances, etc. Nature has your best interest at heart. If she gives you a negative response, take it as guidance. It is an opportunity to learn & grow.
STEP 3 - Adjust:
If you get a negative response, adjust.
Stop what you're doing and make a change.
Ask yourself, "What do I really want?"
(ask & let go; don't expect immediate answer -- it comes when time is right)
If you don't know or are unsure, try different things until you get a positive result.
Be open to new ideas, opportunities, values, ways of seeing things, attitudes toward others, and any other thing that may come your way.
ADJUSTING TO YOUR TRUE DESIRE
If you're unsure how to adjust after a negative response, it helps to see the reason for it:
| Negative Experience | Cause | a. poor self-image/low self-worth
b. general malaise -- lack of enthusiasm for life | not doing what you really want | specific response related to the activity
-- strong & clear | knowingly doing what you don't want | specific response related to the activity
-- mild at first, but grows stronger if you continue | you think you want something, but it's a surrogate -- not your true desire | general problems & suffering in life
-- life is a mess | you genuinely don't know what you want
or long history of ignoring what you want | very personal response
-- has meaning only to you | desire is personally not right for you,
though it may be fine for others |
When you have negative experiences, determine the cause, and see the link between the two. That desire (or absent desire) causes your negative experience. Seeing the connection helps you change. To get rid of the negative experience, you want to remove the cause.
Below are tips to help remedy specific causes:
| Cause | Tip to Get Back on Track | | not doing what you really want | Acknowledge that avoiding what you want isn't good.
Start working on your true desire. | | knowingly doing what you don't want | Acknowledge,
"This isn't what I want -- it's not good for me."
Stop as soon as practical.
(If true desire is unknown, follow those tips too.) | | you think you want something, but it's a surrogate -- not your true desire | Acknowledge that it's a surrogate desire, and not helping you. Then ask, "What is it a substitute for
-- what do I really want?" | | you genuinely don't know what you want | Ask yourself, "If I were king/queen
and could have anything, what would I want?"
Ask & let go; be open to new opportunities | | long history of ignoring what you want | Think back to when you were young --
what were your dreams & desires? | desire is personally not right for you,
though it may be fine for others | Acknowledge, "This is fine, but it's not for me.
What do I want -- what suits me? |
EXTRA TIPS To reawaken dormant desire, ask yourself:
"If I were king or queen of the world and could have anything I want, what would it be?"
Nurture big dreams even if they're unattainable now. Nature organizes their future fulfillment.
Doubt/fear - no need to overcome or eliminate it; go ahead with it -- it fades with success.
Surrogate desires seek immediate gratification to fill the void left by unfulfilled true desire. They are generally harmless; satisfy as needed, but don't get lost in them.
Distinguishing between true & surrogate desires:- Is it proactive or reactive?
- Does it promote growth & evolution or not?
- Does creation want it or just me?
- Does it bring more than instant gratification or not?
When surrogate desires come up, ask yourself:
"What do I really want? What is this desire a substitute for?"
Other tips if you're unsure about a desire:- Let go of it -- if it's a true desire, it will come back.
- Remove ulterior motives and see if you still want it. Ask yourself, "If I gain nothing from this other than the satisfaction the act itself brings, do I still want to do it?"
- Try it and see the response.
Life is a path - Following your heart brings results that grow in time. Some rewards come immediately, but others come gradually. You'll feel peace and inner contentment right away from following your heart, even if your desires don't manifest in the world for some time.
Do it like sex: Desire & let go.
When you let go, you fall into orgasm. That is how you gain ecstasy.
It doesn't matter what your sexual or non-sexual desires are. Everyone's desires are personal and unique. The desire is unimportant; it is the letting go that brings ecstasy. All desire ends in the same ecstasy. Follow your desires and let go.
This is the way to perfect harmony in your heart.
It is the way to Sacred Union with your Inner Self.
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| Message from the Goddess Posted: August 18, 2008 |
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[For those who resonate with the idea of Guidance from a personal Deity, following is a summary of this lesson as the Goddess Herself might express it. If you can hear her in your heart, this is what She might say.]
MESSAGE FROM THE GODDESS I wish each of My Children to know that you are a precious soul from My Womb. It is your birthright to reflect and radiate the Sacred Union of God & Goddess in your personal lives. I am within you all, guiding you always.
You are each born into this world with a purpose, an individual role to play in the unfolding Cosmic Plan. That role is written in your heart as your innocent natural desire, and inscribed in your physical being as your DNA. Within that DNA lies the precise intelligence needed for you each to fulfill your role. That is, you are born with the perfect personality, physiology, talents, and traits to carry out your divine mission. Be it grand or mundane, this life purpose reveals itself to you sequentially in time through the daily desires of your heart. This is why the highest teaching of the Goddess, today and always, is to follow your heart's desire.
Follow your heart without fear, doubt, shame, or guilt. Rather, follow it in sweet surrendering love to the Divine Impulse by which it beats, for in that innocent surrender there is a melting of the heart, and in that melt an expansion to universality that directly comprehends and perceives Divine Universality. You awaken to God & Goddess within.
Coupled with this subjective awakening is objective verification of the Truth of your path. In taking up your role in the Divine Plan, the grand drama of life written by the Cosmic Playwright, you witness all of life around you playing its supportive role in your performance. In scripted perfection that shows itself through people you meet, knowledge that comes to you, signs you see, and other life events, this universal support becomes your daily reality – objective proof of your harmony with Cosmic Will.
The witnessing of these blessings and miracles in the outside world deepens your inner surrender and expansion of the heart, as you realize that everything in your life is taken care of -- all is as it should be, and all is Divine. You live and love in the Union of God & Goddess both inside and out.
All these Blessings arise from one simple thing – follow your heart's desire. No can't, shouldn't, or don't deserve – JUST DO IT! Divine destiny awaits you.
I wish all My Children to know that this is all you need. Everything is revealed by this simple way of life. No one knows your heart as you know it, and therefore no one is in a position to interfere – whether with good intention or otherwise – in your personal relationship with the Divine. You alone have that capacity; therefore the responsibility is yours alone.
I desire you to be self-sufficient in this. Enlightenment dawns in your free choice to step into your divine role. I will not force you. I give you free will, and it is for you to freely work out your desire and destiny.
If you are having trouble seeing your way, look at the facts of your situation, and your desire regarding it. Be not concerned with problems present due to involved parties not following their hearts, including you. Such problems are inevitable when we abandon our cosmic role and strike out on our own in an infinite universe. And they immediately vanish when we return to the inner Truth in our hearts. Step back from the problems to see more clearly, and articulate your desire for the situation. In articulating your desire, you see the best course of action.
Cultivating the habit of seeing life this way reveals the truth of the situation you face, and frees you to act on it in the most evolutionary way. In time, the habit melts into a daily pattern of always following your heart.
I am aware that you cannot always fathom the true best course of action in a situation. Nor do I expect you to. I only desire that you move forward as best you can, with open heart and mind, alert to My Guidance. My Laws of Nature bring a response that shows you when you are on course. Like an actor who steps out of his/her role on stage and finds that nothing is right in the drama, you know when you have stepped away from your heart by the suffering and problems that arise. Likewise when you step back in, the entire cast and set is there to support your role. If your experience is joy and the response positive, continue; if it is otherwise, come home to your heart's desire.
My universe is perfectly balanced. For every action there is an appropriate reaction. Use this response-based system to your advantage. Choose the best course of action as you see it, and let My response show if you have chosen well. There are no mistakes, errors, or sins on the path of awakening -- only learning experiences. If you don't act you will never know, and destiny goes on waiting lifetime after lifetime. By learning as you go, you home in on that Inner Truth in your heart, until you awaken to it fully, and live life bathed in the ecstasy it brings.
This is My Wish for each of you, My Children. Do it now - don't delay - and you will accomplish the Divine Plan on earth.
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russ
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Joined: 25 Dec 2004
Posts: 159
Location: Indianapolis
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| Your Depth Posted: October 23, 2008 |
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Gary ,
When you cover a subject you COVER that subject ! Whew eeh boy , do you talk as you write ? Women must adore you ! A man who can talk , who has more Than the usual 7000 words per day of the average Joe
There is so much here and it is wonderfully presented . Thank you!
About sexual desire and the Universal Embrace of God and Goddess : this is a world of polarity seeking unity in balance . You might call it an "Ocean of Sex " . Sexual desire is spiritually-physically normal and healthy. Lack of sexual desire is a sign of ill health or dis- ease in our spiritual-physical being.
About desire repressed or suppressed : it grows stronger in us until it consumes us and errupts in decidedly unhealthy and /or bizzarre and destructive ways
Going with the flow of desire , although healthy in every way , brings us into awareness of Unconscious attitudes and beliefs about such desires which block the flow of life force /ecstacy in our spiritual-physical being, and allows us to "root them out " of us and gain true Freedom /Bliss
By Letting Go to our desires we Let God / Goddess take us into our destiny which you refer to as our hearts desire.
Russ
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To be loved deeply by someone gives you strength, to love someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu |
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| Re: Your Depth Posted: October 23, 2008 |
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Thanks for your kind words, Russ. It's always nice to hear from you.
You're absolutely right, lack of desire is a sign of ill health because it indicates that the life energy isn't flowing.
| russ said: |
| About desire repressed or suppressed : it grows stronger in us until it consumes us and errupts in decidedly unhealthy and /or bizzarre and destructive ways |
Yes, yes:
| Gary Joseph said: |
"Repressed nature rebels against life, bursting into destructive, antisocial behavior.
"When desires are allowed to flow free, they come up naturally, are fulfilled, and we move on to new, higher desires. Repression bottles up the energy, leaving it to fester beneath the surface of life. From there, it either surfaces regularly in some aberrant form, or if not periodically vented, pressure builds until it explodes violently." |
That was from Sacred Sex Values & Sexual Moralism.
| russ said: |
| Going with the flow of desire...brings us into awareness of Unconscious attitudes and beliefs about such desires which block the flow of life force /ecstacy in our spiritual-physical being, and allows us to "root them out " of us and gain true Freedom /Bliss |
This is one of the most important points for people to understand about the need to follow your heart. If your life isn't going the way you want and you're not happy, it's easy to think that following your heart isn't really going to change what's been a life-long experience. But it leads you on a journey that, as you say, reveals the unconscious blocks in you that deny your happiness. And when you consciously meet them and see them for what they are, and how they dampen your life, you naturally choose to move through them.
The analogy I like is that of a river. Life is like a river; it has a natural current to it that always flows. That current is the natural flow of desire. Water WANTS to flow. If there's a dam or other obstacle in the river, water is blocked, and life becomes just a trickle all downstream. Without the flow of desire, you shrivel & dry up, literally.
If there's been a dam there for some time - some obstruction to desire - mud, sand, branches, rocks, and other debris collect, clogging the flow further. They remain there, hidden beneath the murky surface, bogging down our lives. We get so used to that frustrated, angry, blocked up feeling, that we accept it as 'normal'.
Only when we set desire free - follow desire and get the flow moving again - do we 'discover' all this debris under the surface. But in time the natural current carries it away and clears the river bed, allowing life to flow with full force.
Just to bring home the point you made about blocked desire being unhealthy, the river analogy directly corresponds to physical health issues. Major body systems like the circulatory, respiratory, digestive, lymphatic, and nervous systems are literal rivers carrying air, blood, food, waste, lymph, and electrical impulses through your body for healthy functioning. This healthy functioning is guided by your DNA -- the same DNA that is the blue-print of your desire.
In other words, it's not just your life energy that flows when you follow your desire, but also your blood, air, food, etc. How many times do you sigh and take a deep breath when finally getting through a stressful (i.e. desire & energy blocking) situation? That's your air passages opening back up. Why does blood pressure rise in such situations? Because they constrict bloodflow through your arteries, causing pressure to rise.
The heart attack statistic I mentioned in the lesson is one of the most alarming health statistics out there -- more heart attacks occur at 9AM Monday, when we return to unrewarding work, than any other time. Your heart is the organ most directly related to desire; we often say, 'follow your heart's desire'. Not following your heart literally clogs your arteries, ultimately leading to heart attack.
So this isn't just new age fluff. It has a very real impact on your quality of life. India's holistic health system, Ayurveda, identifies keeping the shrotas - 'passages' - clear as one of the keys to good health.
Following your heart is the all-important first step.
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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it. |
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russ
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Joined: 25 Dec 2004
Posts: 159
Location: Indianapolis
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| Going with the flow of your desire Posted: October 25, 2008 |
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By going with the flow of our desire , we may find out that it is merely a temporary exploration which ,being fulfilled, allows us to "move on " to other areas or in the river analogy : go further down stream .
Sometimes we suppress our desires because , according our familial and/ or religious upbringing , we see them as shameful . A good friend of mine did a meditation : he invited Shame to enter him . He heard a voice reply : "I will gladly enter you but you may want to call me by my other name : Curiosity "
If we look back on the "shameful" things we have done in our lives we see that often we did them simply out of curiousity .
I cherish the following from Shakespeare : " There is nothing either good or bad but that thinking makes it so ." :-}
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To be loved deeply by someone gives you strength, to love someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu |
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| Re: Going with the flow of your desire Posted: October 26, 2008 |
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Great Shakespeare quote (from Hamlet); leave it to the Bard to get to the real heart of the matter. It is piercing truths like that that make him truly great, beyond the ability to turn a beautiful phrase.
It echoes a Rumi quote I posted in Myth of Evil:
| Rumi said: |
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field.
"I will meet you there." |
You're right -- so much of ignoring desire stems from self-imposed guilt and shame. Society programs it into us, but ultimately we choose whether to buy into it.
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Sexual union is a mirror of Spiritual Union, and a gateway to direct experience of it. |
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